Saturday, September 22, 2012

You Call Yourself A Creator?!

To be a creator, you yourself must be creative.


I have a bone to pick with many so-called "creators" on YouTube. Stop asking your audience to do your job for you!

Recently, more and more, I have seen YouTuber's putting out these types of questions, "What should I make a video about?", "Anyone have an idea of a topic I could discuss in a video?", "Hey viewers, decide, my next video! Tell me what you want to see me do!" Okay, that last one isn't a question, but they're all the same. A so-called creator is asking their audience to be creative FOR them.

Now, I'm all for interaction, and most people enjoy a "choose your own adventure" story every now and then, but that is not what's happening here. People who have created YouTube channels have done so because, at some point, they believed that they had something to share with other people in the form of video. Your YouTube channel should be your creative outlet, not a place for other people to make you dance around like a puppet, unless that's your gimmick, and if that works for you and your viewers, then okay and please disregard this post.

As a viewer myself, I know that when I put on my favorite TV show or my favorite web series, I like to sit back and watch the stories the writers have dreamed up. When I watch Ze Frank, WheezyWaiter, Mickeleh, or the Vlogbrothers, I like to hear them talk about the topics and issues that are interesting to them. I like to see how passionate they are about the things they care about, which might be things I knew nothing about before. I like to learn new things, so maybe it's just me, but I don't want to tell the Vlogbrothers what they should talk about in their videos. (If I thought I had better ideas than them, I would make my own videos.)

Thankfully, besides Question Tuesdays,the Vlogbrothers are not the ones asking their viewers to tell them what to do. As in the case of Question Tuesday (videos in which the Vlogbrothers answer questions from their viewers), I think it is completely fine if a YouTube creator asks for audience guidance or interaction once in a while. However, this trend of YouTuber's not making any videos until a viewer comes up with a topic for them to discuss is ridiculous.

You created your YouTube channel to share yourself in some way. So do a self assessment. Find that spark inside, the thing that you are passionate about and go from there. Let that fuel your creativity. I spend enough energy on my own creative projects, so don't ask me to be creative for you too.

There is a huge difference between collaborating with your viewers to make a video, and you just being too lazy to think of anything on your own. Personally, I think it is better for you to not post anything for a while if you're just not feeling inspired, than to fall into this habit of asking other people to tell you what to do.

So there's my argument. If you're not feeling inspired. Go to a park, read a book, do some research, anything that you feel will help you out, but turning to your viewers and asking them to do your job is a bad idea. Why would anyone want to watch videos from a person who doesn't appear to have any original ideas? Don't sell yourself short. Instead, really sell yourself!

For everyone's sake, watch a CommunityChannel video and at the very least reinact one of your craziest dreams with yourself as all the characters before you start begging viewers to decide your every move. Dan Brown already proved that that was a bad idea, so just don't do it!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

America Wants A Queen

Below is a short essay that I wrote in 2007 for a college English class. The assignment was to make some sort of observation about American behavior. The Essay was titled "America Wants A Queen" and recently, with all of the hoop-la being made in America over the wedding of Prince William to Kate Middleton, I felt like sharing this essay. It seems a bit ridiculous how overly excited so many Americans are about a "Royal Wedding" that has nothing to do with their own country. (I have several British friends who are not even half as excited as some American's I have seen talking on television.) I personally don't think it is such a big deal, but here is my essay. I think it was true in 2007 and I feel it is still valid today in 2011.

America Wants A Queen

Over two hundred years ago Americans fought for the right to be free of royal control. Upon winning the battle, a new leadership was formed based upon a popular vote. A method that has endured to the present, because Americans believe that a person with the support of the people is better suited to run a government than someone who is merely born into a certain family. Americans claim that democracy is the only way, and that monarchies and other such governments are relics of the past. However, they will only say this when speaking about government. The true hearts of Americans are laced with jealousy for their cousins across the pond, because the truth is, Americans long for a monarch. A person who will sit in a big gilded chair, dressed in fine robes, adorned with jewels from head to toe, and who will smile encouragingly to the massive crowds of common folk. The American president does little to fulfill this desire for the people.
Instead, Americans make royalty out of celebrities. Oprah is the ‘Queen of daytime television’, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are the ‘King and Queen of Hollywood’, the late Elvis was ‘The King’, Michael Jackson was the former ‘Prince of Pop’, and even Britney Spears has been called a ‘Pop Princess.’ There is no doubt that many people view the children of celebrities as heirs to the thrones of Hollywood, whether the children have any acting talent or not, it is considered their birthright. Obviously, the desire for a monarchy system is not dead in the hearts of Americans. It is frighteningly becoming more and more apparent that Americans care more about having a leader with a pretty face than one who knows how to run a country. Current polls ask citizens who would make a better president, Hillary Clinton (the wife of a former president), or Oprah Winfrey (perhaps the richest woman in America). People choose Oprah, because they like her talk show, but does she know anything about running a country? Perhaps it would not be such a bad idea for Oprah to be elected president. Oprah did not get rich by accident. She got rich because people trust her. She tells people what to buy, and what charities to donate to, and people listen. Maybe if she were president, people would not mind paying their taxes, (because it’s for Oprah), and perhaps the country could pay off its deficit. However, then Oprah would also be stuck with the real business of running a country. Like dealing with a war, feats she may not be capable of handling, and when she fails, the country will lose faith in her. No, it would be better for America to adopt a situation similar to that of England. Let us have a Queen to stand up at ceremonies and wear a pretty crown, and a president that can be blamed for everything that goes wrong. Then America will be happy. Until that day, America simply has Oprah, ‘the queen of daytime television’ and a president everyone loves to hate.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Pics I have so far for Bills birthday project

Ok guys these are the images I HAVE for the project so far, it's getting too hard to tell people what I have and what I need, if you don't see it here, please draw it or take a picture or whatever! Please and thank you!

Please send all submissions to me at heatherproa@gmail.com or find me on skype (look me up under pinkpixiedf)

If you don't know, we're drawing scenes from the song The Epic Ballad of Bill (track 16 on Short Stories). I'm putting them together as a music video for Bill's birthday on Thursday. I'll still take submission early on Thursday!

Epic Ballad of Bill


Mushroom cloud


Bill chant


Bill perched on top of the world


Iron Man


Last years comic dork (who doesn't know who the red hulk is)


red hulk


green hulk


Searchlight transformer


Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris attacking stormtroopers


Chuck and stormtroopers





Reincarnation of Palpatine


stormtroopers


Vader and Stormtroopers


Darth Maul


Everybody know's Bill


Terminator


No need to run....


Like lightning!


Bill's so awesome


Bill is Epic


Bill is everywhere


Bill is everywhere


Bill in China


Bill in Illinois


Bill in Manhattan


The most epic story that ever occurred

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Hello, I Speak Nerd

Hey! I'm blogging again!

So, it's the holiday season which means I've been keeping busy by working two jobs. (I've been working two jobs during the holiday season for the past several years.) During this time of year I often work 14- 17 hour days, so I spend a lot of time away from the computer. Being away from the computer makes me a little sad these days because currently, the only way I keep in touch with friends in through the internet, mostly Twitter, Skype and YouTube.

I have only a couple of friends who live in the same general area as me (I say it that way because we technically live in different cities), but mostly all of my best friends are spread out across the face of the earth. Normally I feel close to my friends even though we are so far away, because we would converse so much through social media, but now, I feel so far away from everybody because I am rarely at my computer. Even when I am at my computer, it is usually at very odd times (like 1 am Pacific time), so nearly everyone I know is asleep, or at work if they live someplace where it is daylight during my nighttime.

ANYWAY, that's not even what I wanted to talk about in this blog, I guess I just wanted some sort of "introduction" for why I'm blogging again all of a sudden. I just miss the conversation and if I can't be around when other people are awake, I'll write some blogs so people can read them whenever they are around and we can continue sharing ideas and stories and keep our friendships alive.

With that said, here's a little story:

So I was at one of my jobs the other day (to be clear, it is my "second" job where I am only a 'seasonal' employee, so I have only been working there since October and will be let go at the end of December) and I was stocking shelves with another worker. We were putting out some WOW expansion packs and my co-worker started to tell me that he is sort of a nerd because he plays WOW a lot. I said to him that the only details I know about WOW are what I've learned from Watching The Guild. He stared at me for a minute and then said that he didn't know what I meant exactly. I said, "The show, The Guild. You can watch it on YouTube....?" He didn't know what I was talking about. I was sort of surprised really that someone who claimed to be pretty obsessed with World of Warcraft, had not heard of The Guild, but maybe I'm just a little too nerdy. I explained the show to him a little further and got more into discussing YouTube, because I'm a youtuber, not a WOW player. As is only natural, he responded with what he knew of YouTube, which sort of made me sad. The only YouTube videos he knew of were all viral videos like Alien Baby, Leave Brittany Alone! and Chocolate Rain. Although, when he mentioned Chocolate Rain, I brightened up and told him that I had met Tay Zonday at an online video convention (VidCon). He was surprised at this and so I had to explain VidCon to him. When I paused in my discussion, he stared at me for a moment and said "Ya.... I think you're a bigger nerd than I am."

Haha! Being a Nerdfighter, I totally took that as a compliment, but I didn't even begin to discuss Nerdfighteria with him. I thought it might be too much for his obviously infant nerd brain. (LOL, that sounds so horrible!) But really, it was sort of funny to me (like I have more nerd cred than him or something, hehe, is that even worth anything?!) Situations like that make me miss all of the people here on the internet though. It's nice to have regular conversations where you don't have to constantly explain yourself.

So let me sum up this blog like a letter:

Dear Internet (CC Nerdfighteria, ClassyLadies),
I miss you. Let's talk more, because we speak the same language and that makes me happy.
Sincerely,
PinkPixieDF

P.S. I told an officer today that "the best way to contact me is through Twitter". They asked for my primary forms of contact (i.e. home phone, cell phone and e-mail) I told them that they could have that information, but I'm rarely home, I only check my e-mail maybe once a week and I never answer my cell phone because I'm nearly always at work. Also, I will be getting a new cell phone in the next couple of weeks so my number is about to change. I told them that using Twitter would bypass all these potential problems, but they still wouldn't accept my Twitter information. Oh well, I guess it's for the best. I don't need the police hovering over my Twitter account.

P.P.S. I was only being questioned by an officer because one of the companies I work for is in a lawsuit against someone who committed credit card fraud and apparently this person purchased things at my register a few months ago. The police required a statement from me about that particular transaction. (I'm not in any trouble or anything!)

Okay, goodbye for today.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Avatar Re-release Review

Hey there! So yes, I've been away from Blogger for a few days. I was on vacation in Wisconsin and I was staying at a house that had an extremely slow internet connection, so it wasn't really worth the effort to try and upload a blog. Also, I was rather busy the whole time I was there. If you follow me on Twitter, you know I tried to keep up with BEDA by tweeting my blog. I did still miss a couple of days, but oh well.

Anyway, I am back home and today I went to see the re-release of AVATAR. It was just as awesome as the first time around. There were new scenes, just as promised. There were three new scenes in fact.

I will try my best not to give real "spoilers", but I will give you a general idea of the new scenes.

The first new scenes is towards the beginning of the film, when Grace, Norm and Jake first venture into the forest in their Avatar bodies, we get to see the school where Grace taught the Na'vi to speak English.

The second new scene is near the middle of the film, we see the aftermath of a battle that took place between the Na'vi and the humans who destroyed the sacred tree. (Remember Jake and Neytiri wake up to find the tree being destroyed). Apparently, some of the Na'vi fought back and destroyed the machine and the humans who were running it.

The last "new" scene is toward the very end, we get to see Tsu'tey's actual final moments. In the original version of the film, we see Tsu'tey jump from his ikran onto one of the ships and kill many of the soldiers, but he is then shot by the last soldier and he falls from the ship, supposedly to his death. This scene is still in the movie, but later, we see that he is found by Jake, Neytiri and some other Na'vi. Tsu'tey is still alive, but dying. He speaks to Jake and Neytiri before he dies.

Personally, I am happy with the inclusion of these scenes. It was nice to see the school that they talked about so much, but we never saw before. The other two scenes also fill in some gaps that were in the film before. I really liked the scene of how Tsu'tey really dies. It was kind of sad before to think of him only falling to his death and that is the end. It is better to know that he died with his friends at his side.

Anyway, I'm glad I got to see this movie in the theatre again. I would recommend going to see it again if you have the chance. If you liked it the first time, you definitely wont be disappointed seeing it again.

Alrighty, goodbye till tomorrow. :-)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Prayers for Esther

How can I write about anything else today when someone who is very well known across the internet and very well loved is battling for her life right now?

You probably know her as CrazyCrayon, but if you don't know the name CrazyCrayon, her name is Esther. Esther is a Nerdfighter, which to me, means she is family. She has cancer and tonight she is exceptionally ill.

My prayers tonight are for Esther and her family. Please keep Esther in your thoughts.

That's all I can really say today. Oh, and Happy Birthday to John Green, without his existence, many of us would not have ever known Esther. Gosh, this is a really big day in Nerdfighteria. Let's be thankful that the world has worked out in such a way as to bring us all together, even if our togetherness only exists regularly in cyberspace, we are all real people, living real lives, and right now, I am praying real prayers for a real person.

Today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life"

August 24: "When we realize that our true nature can never be known, only continually discovered, then we become fearless explorers of reality we are created to be - moving in and out of complementary or conflicting moments alike with the same ease as does a dolphin take delight in carving its way through the endless currents of the sea."

Monday, August 23, 2010

Avatar All Over Again!

Hi peoples! Today is almost over, but I won't let this day get away without keeping up with BEDA!

Guess what?!?!

They are re-releasing Avatar (the movie with the blue aliens, not the Airbender one)! It goes back into theatres this Friday (August 27). It will only be shown in 3D and 3D IMAX and only for a limited time. I don't know how long a "limited" time actually is, but I plan on going to see it! They've added in about 8 minutes of extra footage that wasn't in the original version. I know that movie was already so long, but I remember when I saw it, I just didn't want the movie to end. It was so pretty, I could have watched that movie forever probably.

I am going on a trip this weekend. I will be in Wisconsin the 26th to the 29th (I'm going to see my friend Bill be a race car driver!) so I don't know if I will be able to see it while I'm on my trip, but I will if I can, if not I'll probably go check it out on Monday.

Anyway, that's really all for today.

Here's today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life"

August 23: "Learn to act in the moment -do as this moment asks- and life won't have to give you a kick to remind you of what you are supposed to do!"

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Eye Candy = Inspiration

Hey there, so I'm just a bit excited today because I found some new inspiration and I just really really love it.

About a week ago there was a music video featured on Youtube. The video was from the channel MonsterHigh. Something about the look of the video intrigued me, so I watched it. I actually kind of liked it a lot. Today I did some more 'research' into what MonsterHigh is all about.

As far as I can tell, www.monsterhigh.com is a website for young girls. It is centered around a group of characters who are all the children of famous monsters and they attend high school at "Monster High". The website makes a series of 1 minute cartoons and they are posted on youtube at www.youtube.com/monsterhigh.

I watched all of the episodes of the cartoon today and I just really liked it a lot. Mostly, I fell in love with the "style" of the cartoon. The colors and the outfits and the makeup on the characters is all just so much fun. It's all really girly and cute.

Here are the main characters of the cartoon:



These are some pictures of my favorite characters/outfits:








I really really want to make actual costumes of some of these outfits. They would be amazing for halloween! I am just excited because these cartoons have given me so much inspiration for makeup and nail designs and costumes. I'm excited to "play" with the inspiration I am getting from this. Anyway, that's all that I could think to share with you today.

Check out an episode of the cartoon:


.
..
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...btw, today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life" is here:

August 22: "Life is going according to God's plan only if you are."

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Well, that was awkward....

Little story to share with you today.

So there is a guy I work with whose wife just left him. I don't know all of the details, but from overhearing tid-bits of conversations and such, I gathered that he went home from work about a week ago and she and all of her stuff were gone.

That's pretty sucky news. So, everyone at work is trying to be a bit nice to him, me included.

Today, he and I both had to work outside, so we were talking. We mostly talked about how we both want to move away from Las Vegas and then we were talking about movies and some of our favorites and then all of a sudden, he asked me if I wanted to go out with him to the movies tonight.

Um......?

Hello awkwardness.

At that moment I'm thinking, "Dude, I'm being nice to you because I know your wife just left you and that's got to be tough. I wasn't being nice to try and get you're attention. Maybe you're just trying to 'move on', and I can understand that, but this is really too soon. Technically, you are still married and this is really weird for you to be asking me out on a date."

But how do you actually say all of that to somebody? I'm sure the guy is hurting, and I didn't want to be mean to him. I told him I was busy tonight, that I had to attend Saturday night church. I hope that doesn't make me a bad Christian, using church as an excuse, but I didn't know what else to say to him.

Thankfully though, he didn't seem too upset by me saying no. We kept talking about movies for awhile and then we both had other things to do. I don't know. Anyone have any ideas of what to say in a situation like that? I'm really curious, because, what if he asks me again?! I don't know what else to say.

Maybe we can find some inspiration in today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life"

August 21: "In this life, because of its invisible laws of perfect reciprocity, anything that we do to help another outgrow the limitation of his or her present nature produces the same order of growth within ourselves."

Friday, August 20, 2010

I'm Not a Celebrity!

Today I had a story that I wanted to share with you, but it seemed best to do it through a vlog. So I made this video:



So yeah, anytime I wear a hat and sunglasses, or even just sunglasses, people look at me as if they think I am somebody famous. It always throws me off when people look at me that way, or say something to me about it.

I think it is kind of appropriate to share this story today, after yesterday's blog. Maybe this is another reason why I don't seek fame? Maybe some people want to be famous for the simple thrill of being seen and recognized. I know from experience that it kind of creeps me out when people recognize me and treat me different, as if I might be some kind of celebrity. A couple of years ago, when I was going out to shows all of the time, people would often come up to me and say that they recognized me from Myspace. If they had talked to me on Myspace, then we usually became friends, but when people I didn't even know would come up to me and they knew my name and knew my face, that kind of scared me a bit.

One time I was at a concert at the House of Blues. I was there by myself and at one point a guy came up to talk to me. He said, "Hey, haven't I seen you at the Beauty Bar?" - I looked at him and I was pretty sure that I hadn't met him before, but I said, "maybe, I do go there a lot." He then said, "Ya, you were there taking pictures or something." - Then I knew what he was talking about. About two months prior to this conversation, I had been at the Beauty Bar to see some bands play. One of my best friends at the time was a photographer, and he worked for the Beauty Bar. I wasn't actually taking pictures that night, but I was with my photographer friend nearly the whole time that I was there. It really surprised me that this guy at the House of Blues would remember me after having only seen me at the Beauty Bar one time. I had only been at the bar for a couple of hours that night, and I had never actually talked to this guy, so it really kind of creeped me out. I guess some girls might be flattered to know that a guy was paying that much attention to them, but ya, I know now from experience, that I don't really want that kind of attention.

Put it this way, if you are reading this and you haven't met me in person, please make an effort to connect with me online before we meet in person so that I don't get creeped out to know that you know everything about me and yet we've never talked before.

Ok, that's my blog for today. Here is today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life."

August 20: "What doesn't go right for the one that understands that, once awakened to real life, nothing can go wrong?"

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I Don't Want to be Famous

Hey hey.

So I remembered something that I'd like to talk about. This idea comes from a video posted by John Green on the Vlogbrothers youtube channel nearly a year ago.

To get this blog in the proper context, it would be best if you would watch this video and then continue reading.

Fame: The Road Trip


I really like the points John makes in this video. I think when I first watched this video, it stuck in my mind because,...well, John Green has a way of taking ideas that I agree with and putting them into words that make sense. I think it is very true what he says. When you take the desire to be famous and strip it down to it's barest form, it is really just a desire to be respected by the people whose opinions we feel matter.

This whole topic today is another one of those topics that I have not really voiced before, for fear of sounding shallow or something. For a long long time now, at least since I was a sophomore in high school, I've felt pretty certain that I had no desire to be "famous" myself. However, I had/have a very real craving to be friends with "famous" people. I've always phrased it to myself in this way: "I want to be best friends with all of the people that everyone else wants to know."

The most amazing thing though, is that this desire has almost always been met, in one way or another. In middle school and high school, my closest friends were some of the most popular people in school. Even today, I get to say that I am friends with people like Bill Martin (Dr. Noise) and Molly Lewis (sweetafton23)! Although, you probably see how this all can come out sounding really shallow. As if my only intention in being friends with these people is to "ride on their coattails" or something. I really have no desire to "get in on" the popularity of my friends. I am insanely happy for my friends and whatever level of fame they attain to. I get so excited for them when they are recognized in a public place, when people ask to take pictures with them and want their autograph. I don't want that for myself, but I want it for my friends. I am just happy that I get to be friends with these people, and know them on a personal level. To other people, they are idols, but to me, they are real people, real people that I call "my friends".

Partly why I wanted to talk about this topic, in connection with John Green's video, is because his video makes me wonder about myself. I say I have no desire to be famous, but if you look at the desire to be famous according to John's definition, then really, if all I am seeking is approval, respect and attention from the people I admire, and if I've found that, even if it's only from a handful of people, then I guess I do have a desire to be famous.

So then I think about it again, and I think, yes, maybe I want to be famous, but I only feel famous if the people who are paying attention to me are themselves famous. And.... wow! Saying it that way makes me feel conceited and prejudiced.

I guess I can only hope that people who know me, will know me well enough to know that my friendship is genuine. Yes I want to be best friends with famous people. I've had the chance to rub elbows with quite a few famous people, I've had the chance to sit down and talk and have dinner with some big names and that makes me happy. It makes me happy even if no one else knows that I am friends with these people. It just makes me happy that I know it. Anyway, I strive to be a good friend to the people whose friendships I have been blessed with. I suppose if I wasn't a good and true friend, then I wouldn't be so lucky in friendship as I am. So right now, I choose to take comfort in knowing that these people choose to be friends with me just as much as I choose to be friends with them. I hope no one ever feels the need to call me shallow. It's not as if I avoid being friends with people who are not famous. That is not the case at all! What I'm getting at here is that, if I feel famous at all, I feel so when I am considered a friend of someone who is already famous.

That's all this blog was about. John's discussion on Fame has had me thinking for nearly a year(!) and this was my first attempt to really sit down and answer his question. "Who is the silver-backed gorilla of your jungle?" I think I know the answer to that question now. I think we should all be aware of whose attention we are trying to get. It really puts all of your endeavors into perspective.

As for me, I really don't care if I never have 100 subscribers on youtube. I have 95 followers on twitter and at least 78 of those are actual friends, people I have hung out with and know personally. Even right here on this blog, I have about 8 subscribers. I am happy knowing that at least a few of my friends read every post. That is enough for me, because I'm not trying to be famous here on the internet. I have the respect and support of my good friends, and their approval and friendship is enough to make me feel famous already. :-)

Have any thoughts? Feel free to share it in the comments. We'll leave off again with today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life."

August 19: "It only seems that there is something more important for you to do than to just quietly be yourself."

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I Have Writers Block

Hello! Hello?

I'm not even sure if anyone is reading these anymore. :-(

I really don't know what to write about today.

Actually, I want to show you something.



These are all of my journals and prayer journals from the past 15 years. (I only started keeping journals in 1995.) Well, actually, I've added three more since this picture was taken last year, but still. Obviously, I write a lot. Writing for myself is very different from writing for other people. When I write for myself, I write about what interests me, but when I write these blogs, I try to write about things that interest other people and sometimes I can't share everything that is on my mind because it is too personal. I think right now, that is my problem. All of the things that I would like to talk about are things I shouldn't share or just don't want to.

So, I'm sort of at a road block right now. Sorry, this is all I have for you today.

I'll leave you with today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life."

August 18 "One simple guideline for finding yourself in any crowd of stressed or confused thoughts is to remember, right in their midst, that you are none of them."

Monday, August 16, 2010

Get Rid of Roaches without Chemicals!!

I am really super tired today so I just have a bit of pest-control advice to share. Recently, a friend suggested to my mom that the best way to deal with roaches is to sit out a jar filled only slightly with old coffee grounds and a little bit of water. It attracts roaches like mad, and once they get inside the jar, they can't get out again! It really works! It's sort of gross to peak into the jar in the morning and see all of the roaches trying to get out. We used old spaghetti sauce jars, so we could just screw the lid on and throw the jar out.

Anyway, if you get roaches on your patio or front porch, you might try this and see if it works for you.

Okay, that's all I'm writing for today. Here is today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life".

August 17: "The unexpected sweetness of any perfectly silent moment is that we enter into it through a still secret part of ourselves that is its perfect reflection."

Painting With Light

Hey there! So today I want to talk about painting with light. More simply, that means: photography.

Before I took up nail art, pretty much the only other type of art that I have ever been good at is photography. I like to "paint" with light.

Over the years, I've used many different cameras and today that is sort of what I wanted to talk about/show you.

People tend to think that they have to have a fancy, expensive camera to take good photos, but that simply isn't true. If you understand the science behind a photograph, basically, if you know what you are doing, you can coax a great photograph from nearly any camera.

The camera doesn't make the photographer. Photography truly is a skill and an art that requires some talent.

When I first began studying photography "professionally", I used a 35mm film camera. It was a Canon, though I can't remember the exact model name. That camera was stolen from my house nearly 6 years ago, so I don't remember. Anyway, here are some photos I took using that camera.







In the beginning, I mostly only used black and white film because I developed the film and the photos on my own, and black and white film is easier and cheaper to develop than color film. I really like working with film, especially black and whit film. I am sad that film cameras are dying out. It really is a shame. I could say so much more on that subject, but it would just be a rant, so I'll move on.


These next pictures I took using the camera on my cell phone.







Like I said, these were taken with the camera on my phone. I have a Samsung Gravity with a 3 mega pixel camera and no flash. When working with a low-quality camera it is still possible to take great photographs. It helps to be aware of the lighting, and also to consider color and composition. A great subject and interesting lighting can overcome a lack of sharp focus.

Most people these days have a fairly decent digital camera at their disposal. I do too. I have a Kodak EasyShare Z1285. This is a 12 mega pixel camera. It comes with a 'point and shoot' setting. However, has two other settings for more creative control. There is the P/M button for the most creative control (users can define the depth of field and aperature) and there is the ISO setting. The ISO setting is really a more advanced version of the 'point and shoot' setting, it basically just tells the camera that you will be shooting in a low light setting, so this option tells the camera to increase it's sensitivity to light. In manual cameras, the ISO setting is a little bit more involved, but on a digital camera, it really is just a dressed up version of the 'point and shoot'. Anyway, here are a couple of pictures I took with my Kodak EasyShare.







Obviously these photos were all taken during a single shoot. I noticed the potential for a great photograph during this moment and my kodak was the only camera that I had with me at the moment. I took each of these photos using the P/M setting on the camera and played around with the settings in that mode. The down side to using these types of cameras is the short lens. Sometimes, the best shot can only be obtained with a longer lens, and these cameras just don't allow you to compensate for that.

Now, I do have a semi-professional digital SLR. My highest quality camera is a Canon Digital Rebel Xti that I bought about 3 years ago. This camera is considered semi-professional because it has 7 different "auto" settings. These settings allow the novice to take relatively professional looking photographs in a 'point and shoot' fashion. However, for the more skilled, there are 5 manual settings that allow for more creative control.

These are some photo's I've taken with my digital SLR:











So, ya. I just wanted share some photography insight with you, and show that, you really can take great photographs with nearly any camera. Just understand that you are "painting" with light. Be aware of lighting, color, composition, motion and understand your camera!

Anyway, I will leave you with today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life". Take a moment to think this quote over, and goodbye 'till tomorrow. :-)

August 16: "Each moment of life is only as precious as is our ability to attend to it."

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Re: An Uncensored Blog

Hey, so I'm going to tie up some loose ends from yesterday's post and reply to some points made in the comments on yesterday's post.

Yesterday, I just typed out that blog and posted it without taking any time to organize my thoughts, so it was kind of all over the place.

Basically, I had made that video for my family of my aunts memorial, and I had posted it on youtube, and essentially, I just wanted to say two things.

First I wanted to say: "Here, I made a video. This video is about something sad, but you don't need to feel obligated to comfort me, and I want to tell you why."

Second, I wanted to say that I am sad for my family members who are overcome with depression because of my aunt passing away, and I wanted to explain why it is that depression no longer controls me.

I think I got those points across, but maybe I didn't do it in the most coherent way. That blog yesterday could have been organized better, but I just hashed it out and didn't edit it.

In the comments my friend Julie talked about how her aunt also passed away and now her uncle is dealing with depression because his life had revolved around his wife, and now his life is so empty without her.

Her comment is what really made me want to talk about this some more. I think all of us, at some point, will go through a time of severe depression. It takes a long, long time to recover from an experience that tears your life apart. I guess part of the point I was trying to make, is that, while I was overcoming depression, I grew stronger and wiser. I learned to always look ahead, to see what situations in life might cause me pain. So that now, somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm always aware of the situations that could be difficult for me. Sometimes I just sit and think about these possible situations and I ask myself, what I would do if such and such bad thing happened. It might seem weird, but ever since I started doing this, life hasn't really surprised me with any bad situations. Sometimes bad things happen, but I've already been mentally prepared for it, so when the bad things happen, I am calm and I can think clearly and react rationally.

One of the reasons the whole depression thing is so important to me at the moment is because of my mom. It was her sister who passed away. I am sad for my mom. Her mother (my grandmother) passed away nearly 13 years ago, but her dad (my grandfather) passed away just 2 years ago. My mother was severely depressed when her dad passed away, and now she is depressed again, because her sister has passed away.

I am anxious for my mom, because she was the youngest of 6 kids. It is very likely, that in future years, she will have to bury her 4 other siblings and her aunt and uncle. Because of my experiences with depression and learning to look ahead and prepare myself for potential rough times, I wish I could help my mom to realize that she needs to do something to prepare herself for the inevitable. I am afraid that if she doesn't learn how to cope with the pain of losing her family members, then she is going to be overcome with depression every time another one of her family members passes away, and I am sad to think that my mom might spend most of the rest of her life being depressed because of people she loves passing away.

I fully admit that losing someone who is close to you is not easy. I imagine that if my brother or sister or one of my best friends passed away, I would probably grieve for at least a few months. I know I would be sad, but to be honest, I really do spend time thinking about what life would be like if this happened. Ever since my life fell apart at the beginning of 2008, I've tried to prepare myself for anything that life might throw my way. I just didn't want to ever give life another chance to sneak up behind me and tear my happiness away. So I've learned to fight for my right to be happy, but I've also learned to let things go when the time comes. I've learned to cherish every moment that I get to spend with my friends and family because I never know which moment might be the last. I am glad that I've learned to do this, because life feels so much more fulfilling now. When you truly begin to view your life from the perspective that it could all be taken away in an instant, then every moment feels like a gift.

So, ya... I think that's all I wanted to say today. I'll just conclude by sharing something that helped me through my depression. During 2008, I stopped watching tv. I think TV can be a great escape for some people, but for me, I had to give it up. TV helped me to forget about my pain, but it didn't help me to grow and deal with my pain, so I stopped watching it. Instead, I spent my time reading. I told you yesterday that I prayed and read the Bible, but I read a lot of other books too. One of the books I read was called "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life". It was just a book of quotes/proverbs, one for every day of the year. These daily readings were just really helpful to me. I think I'll start including them in my blogs everyday.

The one for August 15 says:

"Beauty is more than just the experience of a unity greater than thought can measure; beauty gives evidence - through our awareness of its expression - that no observer exists apart from what is observed."

Alright, goodbye 'till tomorrow. :-)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

An Uncensored Blog

Hey there! So.....I don't really know where to start this blog.

Let's start with the title. I am going to be really honest today, and that is what I mean by "uncensored". See, I feel that I view the world very differently from most people. I don't react to situations the way most people do. I don't normally get upset about things that most 'normal' people get upset about.

I feel that the way I view the world and the way that I react to certain situations might make other people feel offended or awkward, so most of the time, I hide my true feelings. For instance, in the time that I have been making youtube videos, I've wanted to make so many more vlogs than I actually have, but I guess I'm afraid of people not accepting me. This isn't the same as being insecure though. Really, I'm afraid that my views will offend people and that will lead to them not wanting to associate with me. I'm afraid that people will think that I am insensitive, but I don't mean to be.

I feel like I'm not making much sense.

I'm writing this blog about this topic today, because, just a few weeks ago, my aunt passed away. The thing is, I'm not looking for your condolences. I'm not sad. I'm a very practical person, and in my world view, people die. It happens. It is a fact of life. Right now, I am more sad for my family members who are still hurting. I'm sad to see them being depressed.

I feel that I should mention that I am a Christian. So yes, I believe in an afterlife. I believe that when people die, they go to Heaven, or Hell. The thing is, I actually believe it. So, I don't see any point in wasting my time being sad. If my aunt is in Heaven, then why should I be sad? This is where I think I might offend people. I'm afraid that people will view my seemingly indifferent attitude as disrespect for my aunts life, or that I somehow have missed out on the preciousness of life and connection with other people. I guess some people might view a time of grieving as a sign of respect for the deceased. If you have that view, I suppose that's fine, but I don't see it that way. I think grief is something experienced by those of us "left behind" and I don't think it matters one way or another to the dearly departed if we spend one minute grieving or five months.

Let me interject on myself for just a minute. I think it is a very different thing if you spend time being upset about being separated from someone you love by distance. That person is still alive and part of this world. I just think it is ridiculous to be depressed about someone who has left this world. At some point or another, you have to get on with your life. Why waste time? You only get so much and that is my point.

I've been through severe depression before. I have. I don't want anyone to think that I don't know what it is like to be depressed. I do know. I wish I could bring myself to tell you about the horrible life I was living that lead to my most severe depression, but I guess I'm still too embarrassed about it to just tell everyone. The thing is though, I didn't want to be depressed. I wanted to live life and be happy. I felt that I had a choice. I could choose to sit in my room alone and wallow and give in to my depression. Or I could choose to overcome my depression, which is what I did. Some of you may know that I have a tattoo on my wrist that says "Hope". I got this tattoo as part of my desperate attempt to escape depression. I wanted something that would remind me everyday that I didn't have to be depressed. I have always been a Christian, but during my darkest days, I barely knew if God was real. I "hoped" that he was. I "hoped" that everything I had ever been told about God was true. I "hoped" that all the promises in the Bible were real. I put my hope in God. I got my tattoo as a visual reminder of my prayer and of everything that I was "hoping" for. Slowly, over the course of months and months of forcing myself to get out of the house instead of staying at home alone, and hundreds of hours spent praying and reading the Bible and other books, trying to learn who God really is, eventually, I found that I wasn't depressed anymore.

I said I was going to be really honest today, so I guess I really should be. If you know me at all, then you know that I have often said that there was a time that I went out to "shows" by myself, all the time. Well, that was during the time that I was trying to overcome depression. I forced myself to go to those shows so that I was surrounded by people. It gave me a chance to make new friends, and ultimately, it worked. I made many friends by going to all of those shows in 2008, but my most lasting friendship has been with Bill Martin, who introduced me to Nerdfighteria and the youtube community.

Everything about my life now, is a result of how I chose to live my life in 2008. You may not believe in God, but I do. Sure, I chose to go out to shows, and that made it easier to meet people. But, I wouldn't have had the strength to go if I didn't have my faith in God. I would read God's promises written throughout the Bible, and I took them to heart. I chose to believe them completely, and that gave me the strength to keep looking for a better life. To keep believing that life doesn't have to hurt all of the time. And now I am here. I have met so many wonderful people in the past two years and I have been a part of so many amazing moments. Life is so much more rewarding now than it was before 2008.

My point in all of this is that, the life I live now resulted from a choice I made. I chose to not give in to depression. I chose to find another way to live life and I never gave up looking. So, forgive me if I offend you with my next statement, but based on my own experiences, I feel that depression is a choice. It is, admittedly, a feeling that can come at you with no warning, but I think we have a choice to allow that feeling to control our lives, or to tell it to go away.

I choose to not be depressed. I choose to not be sad, as much as I can. So my aunt passed away, and that is sad, but I still have a life to live. Giving in to depression right now is not going to make my life any better, so I choose not to let myself be depressed about it. This attitude is making it very hard for me to be around my family right now. They are all very sad and I am afraid of offending them, so I stay in my room a lot right now.

The only thing I have to offer my family is this video I made of the memorial we held for my aunt after she passed away.



I loved my aunt, and I love my family. I just can't bring myself to want to spend time being sad. There is so much to do in this life, so many people to meet and connect with, so much life to plan and look forward to and to LIVE, but we don't have an infinite amount of time to do all that there is to do. I just don't ever want to miss out on the good things in life due to the fact that I was sitting in my room being depressed. I re-read that last sentence, and I hope it doesn't come out sounding selfish. I just realize that life is short, and I don't want to miss out on it.

Since I am a Christian, I believe in an eternal afterlife. If you are part of my Christian family, then I will see you again in Heaven, please don't expect me to mourn for you very long if you leave this world before me. If I mourn at all during this life, I mourn for those people that I love who are not Christians, because I will not see them again after this life. Those are the people I want to spend more time with, because, if they do not go to Heaven, then this lifetime is all we have. That thought is the one thing that really makes me sad, and that is what really drives me to not want to waste the time that I have, being away from people that I love.

Okay, this blog turned out way longer than I planned, so I'll stop here. I hope I haven't scared anyone away. :-)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Tag Games

Today we have a vlog/blog. I was tagged by my friend Will to make a video answering some questions.

So here is my video:




The people I tagged are:
MichaelMidnight
Sara(cleverestwitch)
Leslie(foundhergrail)
Barry Aldridge
Bobby(TheMeFund)

The Questions Are:
1.What's your favourite TV show and why?
2.Favourite YouTube channel and why?
3.What's your worst habit?
4.Worst movie you've seen? Why was it the worst?
5.Favourite gadget and why?
6.What video camera do you use for your videos? Show us them!
7.Favourite smell?
8.When and where is your next vacation? If you don't have one planned, where would you go and why?
9.What is your favourite Internet meme?
10.When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you were older? Can you remember why?

Feel free to make a response of your own and tag some friends. Tag games are fun!

Or just answer the questions down in the comments if you like. This is all I have for you today. Goodbye 'till tomorrow. :-)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Pinball Madness!

Today has been a good day. My friends Chris and Molly came to Las Vegas and we spent a few hours hanging out at the best place in Las Vegas, the Pinball Hall of Fame!

The Pinball Hall of Fame has been in Las Vegas for a few years, but I only just went there for the first time last month when my friend Bobby came to town. Today was only my second time going, but it definitely will not be the last time. The Hall of Fame is both a museum and an arcade. There are hundreds of games there, games dating from the 1970's to today! -And they are all playable! Even better, the games are cheap! The games cost between 25 cents and $2.00 (at the most, and that's usually for multiple plays of a single game). Most games are 50 cents. To add even more to the awesomeness, the Pinball Hall of Fame is a non-profit museum and the majority of the proceeds go to the Salvation Army.

If you ever have the chance to come to Las Vegas, you have to set aside a few hours to hang out at the Pinball Hall of Fame. You can look them up at their website www.pinballmuseum.org. They also have a twitter, you can follow them @PinballHallFame.

Here are some pics of the museum that I stole from Molly's twitpic page.







These are some pics I took.





Ya, so it is an awesome place. It made for a great day to hang out there with two good friends. I don't really have any friends in Las Vegas anymore, so I've been pretty bored lately, and slightly depressed really. Having friends in town made me really happy today. Well, that's all for today. Goodbye till tomorrow. :-)