Sunday, December 5, 2010

Hello, I Speak Nerd

Hey! I'm blogging again!

So, it's the holiday season which means I've been keeping busy by working two jobs. (I've been working two jobs during the holiday season for the past several years.) During this time of year I often work 14- 17 hour days, so I spend a lot of time away from the computer. Being away from the computer makes me a little sad these days because currently, the only way I keep in touch with friends in through the internet, mostly Twitter, Skype and YouTube.

I have only a couple of friends who live in the same general area as me (I say it that way because we technically live in different cities), but mostly all of my best friends are spread out across the face of the earth. Normally I feel close to my friends even though we are so far away, because we would converse so much through social media, but now, I feel so far away from everybody because I am rarely at my computer. Even when I am at my computer, it is usually at very odd times (like 1 am Pacific time), so nearly everyone I know is asleep, or at work if they live someplace where it is daylight during my nighttime.

ANYWAY, that's not even what I wanted to talk about in this blog, I guess I just wanted some sort of "introduction" for why I'm blogging again all of a sudden. I just miss the conversation and if I can't be around when other people are awake, I'll write some blogs so people can read them whenever they are around and we can continue sharing ideas and stories and keep our friendships alive.

With that said, here's a little story:

So I was at one of my jobs the other day (to be clear, it is my "second" job where I am only a 'seasonal' employee, so I have only been working there since October and will be let go at the end of December) and I was stocking shelves with another worker. We were putting out some WOW expansion packs and my co-worker started to tell me that he is sort of a nerd because he plays WOW a lot. I said to him that the only details I know about WOW are what I've learned from Watching The Guild. He stared at me for a minute and then said that he didn't know what I meant exactly. I said, "The show, The Guild. You can watch it on YouTube....?" He didn't know what I was talking about. I was sort of surprised really that someone who claimed to be pretty obsessed with World of Warcraft, had not heard of The Guild, but maybe I'm just a little too nerdy. I explained the show to him a little further and got more into discussing YouTube, because I'm a youtuber, not a WOW player. As is only natural, he responded with what he knew of YouTube, which sort of made me sad. The only YouTube videos he knew of were all viral videos like Alien Baby, Leave Brittany Alone! and Chocolate Rain. Although, when he mentioned Chocolate Rain, I brightened up and told him that I had met Tay Zonday at an online video convention (VidCon). He was surprised at this and so I had to explain VidCon to him. When I paused in my discussion, he stared at me for a moment and said "Ya.... I think you're a bigger nerd than I am."

Haha! Being a Nerdfighter, I totally took that as a compliment, but I didn't even begin to discuss Nerdfighteria with him. I thought it might be too much for his obviously infant nerd brain. (LOL, that sounds so horrible!) But really, it was sort of funny to me (like I have more nerd cred than him or something, hehe, is that even worth anything?!) Situations like that make me miss all of the people here on the internet though. It's nice to have regular conversations where you don't have to constantly explain yourself.

So let me sum up this blog like a letter:

Dear Internet (CC Nerdfighteria, ClassyLadies),
I miss you. Let's talk more, because we speak the same language and that makes me happy.
Sincerely,
PinkPixieDF

P.S. I told an officer today that "the best way to contact me is through Twitter". They asked for my primary forms of contact (i.e. home phone, cell phone and e-mail) I told them that they could have that information, but I'm rarely home, I only check my e-mail maybe once a week and I never answer my cell phone because I'm nearly always at work. Also, I will be getting a new cell phone in the next couple of weeks so my number is about to change. I told them that using Twitter would bypass all these potential problems, but they still wouldn't accept my Twitter information. Oh well, I guess it's for the best. I don't need the police hovering over my Twitter account.

P.P.S. I was only being questioned by an officer because one of the companies I work for is in a lawsuit against someone who committed credit card fraud and apparently this person purchased things at my register a few months ago. The police required a statement from me about that particular transaction. (I'm not in any trouble or anything!)

Okay, goodbye for today.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Avatar Re-release Review

Hey there! So yes, I've been away from Blogger for a few days. I was on vacation in Wisconsin and I was staying at a house that had an extremely slow internet connection, so it wasn't really worth the effort to try and upload a blog. Also, I was rather busy the whole time I was there. If you follow me on Twitter, you know I tried to keep up with BEDA by tweeting my blog. I did still miss a couple of days, but oh well.

Anyway, I am back home and today I went to see the re-release of AVATAR. It was just as awesome as the first time around. There were new scenes, just as promised. There were three new scenes in fact.

I will try my best not to give real "spoilers", but I will give you a general idea of the new scenes.

The first new scenes is towards the beginning of the film, when Grace, Norm and Jake first venture into the forest in their Avatar bodies, we get to see the school where Grace taught the Na'vi to speak English.

The second new scene is near the middle of the film, we see the aftermath of a battle that took place between the Na'vi and the humans who destroyed the sacred tree. (Remember Jake and Neytiri wake up to find the tree being destroyed). Apparently, some of the Na'vi fought back and destroyed the machine and the humans who were running it.

The last "new" scene is toward the very end, we get to see Tsu'tey's actual final moments. In the original version of the film, we see Tsu'tey jump from his ikran onto one of the ships and kill many of the soldiers, but he is then shot by the last soldier and he falls from the ship, supposedly to his death. This scene is still in the movie, but later, we see that he is found by Jake, Neytiri and some other Na'vi. Tsu'tey is still alive, but dying. He speaks to Jake and Neytiri before he dies.

Personally, I am happy with the inclusion of these scenes. It was nice to see the school that they talked about so much, but we never saw before. The other two scenes also fill in some gaps that were in the film before. I really liked the scene of how Tsu'tey really dies. It was kind of sad before to think of him only falling to his death and that is the end. It is better to know that he died with his friends at his side.

Anyway, I'm glad I got to see this movie in the theatre again. I would recommend going to see it again if you have the chance. If you liked it the first time, you definitely wont be disappointed seeing it again.

Alrighty, goodbye till tomorrow. :-)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Prayers for Esther

How can I write about anything else today when someone who is very well known across the internet and very well loved is battling for her life right now?

You probably know her as CrazyCrayon, but if you don't know the name CrazyCrayon, her name is Esther. Esther is a Nerdfighter, which to me, means she is family. She has cancer and tonight she is exceptionally ill.

My prayers tonight are for Esther and her family. Please keep Esther in your thoughts.

That's all I can really say today. Oh, and Happy Birthday to John Green, without his existence, many of us would not have ever known Esther. Gosh, this is a really big day in Nerdfighteria. Let's be thankful that the world has worked out in such a way as to bring us all together, even if our togetherness only exists regularly in cyberspace, we are all real people, living real lives, and right now, I am praying real prayers for a real person.

Today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life"

August 24: "When we realize that our true nature can never be known, only continually discovered, then we become fearless explorers of reality we are created to be - moving in and out of complementary or conflicting moments alike with the same ease as does a dolphin take delight in carving its way through the endless currents of the sea."

Monday, August 23, 2010

Avatar All Over Again!

Hi peoples! Today is almost over, but I won't let this day get away without keeping up with BEDA!

Guess what?!?!

They are re-releasing Avatar (the movie with the blue aliens, not the Airbender one)! It goes back into theatres this Friday (August 27). It will only be shown in 3D and 3D IMAX and only for a limited time. I don't know how long a "limited" time actually is, but I plan on going to see it! They've added in about 8 minutes of extra footage that wasn't in the original version. I know that movie was already so long, but I remember when I saw it, I just didn't want the movie to end. It was so pretty, I could have watched that movie forever probably.

I am going on a trip this weekend. I will be in Wisconsin the 26th to the 29th (I'm going to see my friend Bill be a race car driver!) so I don't know if I will be able to see it while I'm on my trip, but I will if I can, if not I'll probably go check it out on Monday.

Anyway, that's really all for today.

Here's today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life"

August 23: "Learn to act in the moment -do as this moment asks- and life won't have to give you a kick to remind you of what you are supposed to do!"

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Eye Candy = Inspiration

Hey there, so I'm just a bit excited today because I found some new inspiration and I just really really love it.

About a week ago there was a music video featured on Youtube. The video was from the channel MonsterHigh. Something about the look of the video intrigued me, so I watched it. I actually kind of liked it a lot. Today I did some more 'research' into what MonsterHigh is all about.

As far as I can tell, www.monsterhigh.com is a website for young girls. It is centered around a group of characters who are all the children of famous monsters and they attend high school at "Monster High". The website makes a series of 1 minute cartoons and they are posted on youtube at www.youtube.com/monsterhigh.

I watched all of the episodes of the cartoon today and I just really liked it a lot. Mostly, I fell in love with the "style" of the cartoon. The colors and the outfits and the makeup on the characters is all just so much fun. It's all really girly and cute.

Here are the main characters of the cartoon:



These are some pictures of my favorite characters/outfits:








I really really want to make actual costumes of some of these outfits. They would be amazing for halloween! I am just excited because these cartoons have given me so much inspiration for makeup and nail designs and costumes. I'm excited to "play" with the inspiration I am getting from this. Anyway, that's all that I could think to share with you today.

Check out an episode of the cartoon:


.
..
...
...btw, today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life" is here:

August 22: "Life is going according to God's plan only if you are."

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Well, that was awkward....

Little story to share with you today.

So there is a guy I work with whose wife just left him. I don't know all of the details, but from overhearing tid-bits of conversations and such, I gathered that he went home from work about a week ago and she and all of her stuff were gone.

That's pretty sucky news. So, everyone at work is trying to be a bit nice to him, me included.

Today, he and I both had to work outside, so we were talking. We mostly talked about how we both want to move away from Las Vegas and then we were talking about movies and some of our favorites and then all of a sudden, he asked me if I wanted to go out with him to the movies tonight.

Um......?

Hello awkwardness.

At that moment I'm thinking, "Dude, I'm being nice to you because I know your wife just left you and that's got to be tough. I wasn't being nice to try and get you're attention. Maybe you're just trying to 'move on', and I can understand that, but this is really too soon. Technically, you are still married and this is really weird for you to be asking me out on a date."

But how do you actually say all of that to somebody? I'm sure the guy is hurting, and I didn't want to be mean to him. I told him I was busy tonight, that I had to attend Saturday night church. I hope that doesn't make me a bad Christian, using church as an excuse, but I didn't know what else to say to him.

Thankfully though, he didn't seem too upset by me saying no. We kept talking about movies for awhile and then we both had other things to do. I don't know. Anyone have any ideas of what to say in a situation like that? I'm really curious, because, what if he asks me again?! I don't know what else to say.

Maybe we can find some inspiration in today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life"

August 21: "In this life, because of its invisible laws of perfect reciprocity, anything that we do to help another outgrow the limitation of his or her present nature produces the same order of growth within ourselves."

Friday, August 20, 2010

I'm Not a Celebrity!

Today I had a story that I wanted to share with you, but it seemed best to do it through a vlog. So I made this video:



So yeah, anytime I wear a hat and sunglasses, or even just sunglasses, people look at me as if they think I am somebody famous. It always throws me off when people look at me that way, or say something to me about it.

I think it is kind of appropriate to share this story today, after yesterday's blog. Maybe this is another reason why I don't seek fame? Maybe some people want to be famous for the simple thrill of being seen and recognized. I know from experience that it kind of creeps me out when people recognize me and treat me different, as if I might be some kind of celebrity. A couple of years ago, when I was going out to shows all of the time, people would often come up to me and say that they recognized me from Myspace. If they had talked to me on Myspace, then we usually became friends, but when people I didn't even know would come up to me and they knew my name and knew my face, that kind of scared me a bit.

One time I was at a concert at the House of Blues. I was there by myself and at one point a guy came up to talk to me. He said, "Hey, haven't I seen you at the Beauty Bar?" - I looked at him and I was pretty sure that I hadn't met him before, but I said, "maybe, I do go there a lot." He then said, "Ya, you were there taking pictures or something." - Then I knew what he was talking about. About two months prior to this conversation, I had been at the Beauty Bar to see some bands play. One of my best friends at the time was a photographer, and he worked for the Beauty Bar. I wasn't actually taking pictures that night, but I was with my photographer friend nearly the whole time that I was there. It really surprised me that this guy at the House of Blues would remember me after having only seen me at the Beauty Bar one time. I had only been at the bar for a couple of hours that night, and I had never actually talked to this guy, so it really kind of creeped me out. I guess some girls might be flattered to know that a guy was paying that much attention to them, but ya, I know now from experience, that I don't really want that kind of attention.

Put it this way, if you are reading this and you haven't met me in person, please make an effort to connect with me online before we meet in person so that I don't get creeped out to know that you know everything about me and yet we've never talked before.

Ok, that's my blog for today. Here is today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life."

August 20: "What doesn't go right for the one that understands that, once awakened to real life, nothing can go wrong?"

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I Don't Want to be Famous

Hey hey.

So I remembered something that I'd like to talk about. This idea comes from a video posted by John Green on the Vlogbrothers youtube channel nearly a year ago.

To get this blog in the proper context, it would be best if you would watch this video and then continue reading.

Fame: The Road Trip


I really like the points John makes in this video. I think when I first watched this video, it stuck in my mind because,...well, John Green has a way of taking ideas that I agree with and putting them into words that make sense. I think it is very true what he says. When you take the desire to be famous and strip it down to it's barest form, it is really just a desire to be respected by the people whose opinions we feel matter.

This whole topic today is another one of those topics that I have not really voiced before, for fear of sounding shallow or something. For a long long time now, at least since I was a sophomore in high school, I've felt pretty certain that I had no desire to be "famous" myself. However, I had/have a very real craving to be friends with "famous" people. I've always phrased it to myself in this way: "I want to be best friends with all of the people that everyone else wants to know."

The most amazing thing though, is that this desire has almost always been met, in one way or another. In middle school and high school, my closest friends were some of the most popular people in school. Even today, I get to say that I am friends with people like Bill Martin (Dr. Noise) and Molly Lewis (sweetafton23)! Although, you probably see how this all can come out sounding really shallow. As if my only intention in being friends with these people is to "ride on their coattails" or something. I really have no desire to "get in on" the popularity of my friends. I am insanely happy for my friends and whatever level of fame they attain to. I get so excited for them when they are recognized in a public place, when people ask to take pictures with them and want their autograph. I don't want that for myself, but I want it for my friends. I am just happy that I get to be friends with these people, and know them on a personal level. To other people, they are idols, but to me, they are real people, real people that I call "my friends".

Partly why I wanted to talk about this topic, in connection with John Green's video, is because his video makes me wonder about myself. I say I have no desire to be famous, but if you look at the desire to be famous according to John's definition, then really, if all I am seeking is approval, respect and attention from the people I admire, and if I've found that, even if it's only from a handful of people, then I guess I do have a desire to be famous.

So then I think about it again, and I think, yes, maybe I want to be famous, but I only feel famous if the people who are paying attention to me are themselves famous. And.... wow! Saying it that way makes me feel conceited and prejudiced.

I guess I can only hope that people who know me, will know me well enough to know that my friendship is genuine. Yes I want to be best friends with famous people. I've had the chance to rub elbows with quite a few famous people, I've had the chance to sit down and talk and have dinner with some big names and that makes me happy. It makes me happy even if no one else knows that I am friends with these people. It just makes me happy that I know it. Anyway, I strive to be a good friend to the people whose friendships I have been blessed with. I suppose if I wasn't a good and true friend, then I wouldn't be so lucky in friendship as I am. So right now, I choose to take comfort in knowing that these people choose to be friends with me just as much as I choose to be friends with them. I hope no one ever feels the need to call me shallow. It's not as if I avoid being friends with people who are not famous. That is not the case at all! What I'm getting at here is that, if I feel famous at all, I feel so when I am considered a friend of someone who is already famous.

That's all this blog was about. John's discussion on Fame has had me thinking for nearly a year(!) and this was my first attempt to really sit down and answer his question. "Who is the silver-backed gorilla of your jungle?" I think I know the answer to that question now. I think we should all be aware of whose attention we are trying to get. It really puts all of your endeavors into perspective.

As for me, I really don't care if I never have 100 subscribers on youtube. I have 95 followers on twitter and at least 78 of those are actual friends, people I have hung out with and know personally. Even right here on this blog, I have about 8 subscribers. I am happy knowing that at least a few of my friends read every post. That is enough for me, because I'm not trying to be famous here on the internet. I have the respect and support of my good friends, and their approval and friendship is enough to make me feel famous already. :-)

Have any thoughts? Feel free to share it in the comments. We'll leave off again with today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life."

August 19: "It only seems that there is something more important for you to do than to just quietly be yourself."

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I Have Writers Block

Hello! Hello?

I'm not even sure if anyone is reading these anymore. :-(

I really don't know what to write about today.

Actually, I want to show you something.



These are all of my journals and prayer journals from the past 15 years. (I only started keeping journals in 1995.) Well, actually, I've added three more since this picture was taken last year, but still. Obviously, I write a lot. Writing for myself is very different from writing for other people. When I write for myself, I write about what interests me, but when I write these blogs, I try to write about things that interest other people and sometimes I can't share everything that is on my mind because it is too personal. I think right now, that is my problem. All of the things that I would like to talk about are things I shouldn't share or just don't want to.

So, I'm sort of at a road block right now. Sorry, this is all I have for you today.

I'll leave you with today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life."

August 18 "One simple guideline for finding yourself in any crowd of stressed or confused thoughts is to remember, right in their midst, that you are none of them."

Monday, August 16, 2010

Get Rid of Roaches without Chemicals!!

I am really super tired today so I just have a bit of pest-control advice to share. Recently, a friend suggested to my mom that the best way to deal with roaches is to sit out a jar filled only slightly with old coffee grounds and a little bit of water. It attracts roaches like mad, and once they get inside the jar, they can't get out again! It really works! It's sort of gross to peak into the jar in the morning and see all of the roaches trying to get out. We used old spaghetti sauce jars, so we could just screw the lid on and throw the jar out.

Anyway, if you get roaches on your patio or front porch, you might try this and see if it works for you.

Okay, that's all I'm writing for today. Here is today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life".

August 17: "The unexpected sweetness of any perfectly silent moment is that we enter into it through a still secret part of ourselves that is its perfect reflection."

Painting With Light

Hey there! So today I want to talk about painting with light. More simply, that means: photography.

Before I took up nail art, pretty much the only other type of art that I have ever been good at is photography. I like to "paint" with light.

Over the years, I've used many different cameras and today that is sort of what I wanted to talk about/show you.

People tend to think that they have to have a fancy, expensive camera to take good photos, but that simply isn't true. If you understand the science behind a photograph, basically, if you know what you are doing, you can coax a great photograph from nearly any camera.

The camera doesn't make the photographer. Photography truly is a skill and an art that requires some talent.

When I first began studying photography "professionally", I used a 35mm film camera. It was a Canon, though I can't remember the exact model name. That camera was stolen from my house nearly 6 years ago, so I don't remember. Anyway, here are some photos I took using that camera.







In the beginning, I mostly only used black and white film because I developed the film and the photos on my own, and black and white film is easier and cheaper to develop than color film. I really like working with film, especially black and whit film. I am sad that film cameras are dying out. It really is a shame. I could say so much more on that subject, but it would just be a rant, so I'll move on.


These next pictures I took using the camera on my cell phone.







Like I said, these were taken with the camera on my phone. I have a Samsung Gravity with a 3 mega pixel camera and no flash. When working with a low-quality camera it is still possible to take great photographs. It helps to be aware of the lighting, and also to consider color and composition. A great subject and interesting lighting can overcome a lack of sharp focus.

Most people these days have a fairly decent digital camera at their disposal. I do too. I have a Kodak EasyShare Z1285. This is a 12 mega pixel camera. It comes with a 'point and shoot' setting. However, has two other settings for more creative control. There is the P/M button for the most creative control (users can define the depth of field and aperature) and there is the ISO setting. The ISO setting is really a more advanced version of the 'point and shoot' setting, it basically just tells the camera that you will be shooting in a low light setting, so this option tells the camera to increase it's sensitivity to light. In manual cameras, the ISO setting is a little bit more involved, but on a digital camera, it really is just a dressed up version of the 'point and shoot'. Anyway, here are a couple of pictures I took with my Kodak EasyShare.







Obviously these photos were all taken during a single shoot. I noticed the potential for a great photograph during this moment and my kodak was the only camera that I had with me at the moment. I took each of these photos using the P/M setting on the camera and played around with the settings in that mode. The down side to using these types of cameras is the short lens. Sometimes, the best shot can only be obtained with a longer lens, and these cameras just don't allow you to compensate for that.

Now, I do have a semi-professional digital SLR. My highest quality camera is a Canon Digital Rebel Xti that I bought about 3 years ago. This camera is considered semi-professional because it has 7 different "auto" settings. These settings allow the novice to take relatively professional looking photographs in a 'point and shoot' fashion. However, for the more skilled, there are 5 manual settings that allow for more creative control.

These are some photo's I've taken with my digital SLR:











So, ya. I just wanted share some photography insight with you, and show that, you really can take great photographs with nearly any camera. Just understand that you are "painting" with light. Be aware of lighting, color, composition, motion and understand your camera!

Anyway, I will leave you with today's quote from the book "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life". Take a moment to think this quote over, and goodbye 'till tomorrow. :-)

August 16: "Each moment of life is only as precious as is our ability to attend to it."

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Re: An Uncensored Blog

Hey, so I'm going to tie up some loose ends from yesterday's post and reply to some points made in the comments on yesterday's post.

Yesterday, I just typed out that blog and posted it without taking any time to organize my thoughts, so it was kind of all over the place.

Basically, I had made that video for my family of my aunts memorial, and I had posted it on youtube, and essentially, I just wanted to say two things.

First I wanted to say: "Here, I made a video. This video is about something sad, but you don't need to feel obligated to comfort me, and I want to tell you why."

Second, I wanted to say that I am sad for my family members who are overcome with depression because of my aunt passing away, and I wanted to explain why it is that depression no longer controls me.

I think I got those points across, but maybe I didn't do it in the most coherent way. That blog yesterday could have been organized better, but I just hashed it out and didn't edit it.

In the comments my friend Julie talked about how her aunt also passed away and now her uncle is dealing with depression because his life had revolved around his wife, and now his life is so empty without her.

Her comment is what really made me want to talk about this some more. I think all of us, at some point, will go through a time of severe depression. It takes a long, long time to recover from an experience that tears your life apart. I guess part of the point I was trying to make, is that, while I was overcoming depression, I grew stronger and wiser. I learned to always look ahead, to see what situations in life might cause me pain. So that now, somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm always aware of the situations that could be difficult for me. Sometimes I just sit and think about these possible situations and I ask myself, what I would do if such and such bad thing happened. It might seem weird, but ever since I started doing this, life hasn't really surprised me with any bad situations. Sometimes bad things happen, but I've already been mentally prepared for it, so when the bad things happen, I am calm and I can think clearly and react rationally.

One of the reasons the whole depression thing is so important to me at the moment is because of my mom. It was her sister who passed away. I am sad for my mom. Her mother (my grandmother) passed away nearly 13 years ago, but her dad (my grandfather) passed away just 2 years ago. My mother was severely depressed when her dad passed away, and now she is depressed again, because her sister has passed away.

I am anxious for my mom, because she was the youngest of 6 kids. It is very likely, that in future years, she will have to bury her 4 other siblings and her aunt and uncle. Because of my experiences with depression and learning to look ahead and prepare myself for potential rough times, I wish I could help my mom to realize that she needs to do something to prepare herself for the inevitable. I am afraid that if she doesn't learn how to cope with the pain of losing her family members, then she is going to be overcome with depression every time another one of her family members passes away, and I am sad to think that my mom might spend most of the rest of her life being depressed because of people she loves passing away.

I fully admit that losing someone who is close to you is not easy. I imagine that if my brother or sister or one of my best friends passed away, I would probably grieve for at least a few months. I know I would be sad, but to be honest, I really do spend time thinking about what life would be like if this happened. Ever since my life fell apart at the beginning of 2008, I've tried to prepare myself for anything that life might throw my way. I just didn't want to ever give life another chance to sneak up behind me and tear my happiness away. So I've learned to fight for my right to be happy, but I've also learned to let things go when the time comes. I've learned to cherish every moment that I get to spend with my friends and family because I never know which moment might be the last. I am glad that I've learned to do this, because life feels so much more fulfilling now. When you truly begin to view your life from the perspective that it could all be taken away in an instant, then every moment feels like a gift.

So, ya... I think that's all I wanted to say today. I'll just conclude by sharing something that helped me through my depression. During 2008, I stopped watching tv. I think TV can be a great escape for some people, but for me, I had to give it up. TV helped me to forget about my pain, but it didn't help me to grow and deal with my pain, so I stopped watching it. Instead, I spent my time reading. I told you yesterday that I prayed and read the Bible, but I read a lot of other books too. One of the books I read was called "365 Days to Let Go: daily insights to change your life". It was just a book of quotes/proverbs, one for every day of the year. These daily readings were just really helpful to me. I think I'll start including them in my blogs everyday.

The one for August 15 says:

"Beauty is more than just the experience of a unity greater than thought can measure; beauty gives evidence - through our awareness of its expression - that no observer exists apart from what is observed."

Alright, goodbye 'till tomorrow. :-)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

An Uncensored Blog

Hey there! So.....I don't really know where to start this blog.

Let's start with the title. I am going to be really honest today, and that is what I mean by "uncensored". See, I feel that I view the world very differently from most people. I don't react to situations the way most people do. I don't normally get upset about things that most 'normal' people get upset about.

I feel that the way I view the world and the way that I react to certain situations might make other people feel offended or awkward, so most of the time, I hide my true feelings. For instance, in the time that I have been making youtube videos, I've wanted to make so many more vlogs than I actually have, but I guess I'm afraid of people not accepting me. This isn't the same as being insecure though. Really, I'm afraid that my views will offend people and that will lead to them not wanting to associate with me. I'm afraid that people will think that I am insensitive, but I don't mean to be.

I feel like I'm not making much sense.

I'm writing this blog about this topic today, because, just a few weeks ago, my aunt passed away. The thing is, I'm not looking for your condolences. I'm not sad. I'm a very practical person, and in my world view, people die. It happens. It is a fact of life. Right now, I am more sad for my family members who are still hurting. I'm sad to see them being depressed.

I feel that I should mention that I am a Christian. So yes, I believe in an afterlife. I believe that when people die, they go to Heaven, or Hell. The thing is, I actually believe it. So, I don't see any point in wasting my time being sad. If my aunt is in Heaven, then why should I be sad? This is where I think I might offend people. I'm afraid that people will view my seemingly indifferent attitude as disrespect for my aunts life, or that I somehow have missed out on the preciousness of life and connection with other people. I guess some people might view a time of grieving as a sign of respect for the deceased. If you have that view, I suppose that's fine, but I don't see it that way. I think grief is something experienced by those of us "left behind" and I don't think it matters one way or another to the dearly departed if we spend one minute grieving or five months.

Let me interject on myself for just a minute. I think it is a very different thing if you spend time being upset about being separated from someone you love by distance. That person is still alive and part of this world. I just think it is ridiculous to be depressed about someone who has left this world. At some point or another, you have to get on with your life. Why waste time? You only get so much and that is my point.

I've been through severe depression before. I have. I don't want anyone to think that I don't know what it is like to be depressed. I do know. I wish I could bring myself to tell you about the horrible life I was living that lead to my most severe depression, but I guess I'm still too embarrassed about it to just tell everyone. The thing is though, I didn't want to be depressed. I wanted to live life and be happy. I felt that I had a choice. I could choose to sit in my room alone and wallow and give in to my depression. Or I could choose to overcome my depression, which is what I did. Some of you may know that I have a tattoo on my wrist that says "Hope". I got this tattoo as part of my desperate attempt to escape depression. I wanted something that would remind me everyday that I didn't have to be depressed. I have always been a Christian, but during my darkest days, I barely knew if God was real. I "hoped" that he was. I "hoped" that everything I had ever been told about God was true. I "hoped" that all the promises in the Bible were real. I put my hope in God. I got my tattoo as a visual reminder of my prayer and of everything that I was "hoping" for. Slowly, over the course of months and months of forcing myself to get out of the house instead of staying at home alone, and hundreds of hours spent praying and reading the Bible and other books, trying to learn who God really is, eventually, I found that I wasn't depressed anymore.

I said I was going to be really honest today, so I guess I really should be. If you know me at all, then you know that I have often said that there was a time that I went out to "shows" by myself, all the time. Well, that was during the time that I was trying to overcome depression. I forced myself to go to those shows so that I was surrounded by people. It gave me a chance to make new friends, and ultimately, it worked. I made many friends by going to all of those shows in 2008, but my most lasting friendship has been with Bill Martin, who introduced me to Nerdfighteria and the youtube community.

Everything about my life now, is a result of how I chose to live my life in 2008. You may not believe in God, but I do. Sure, I chose to go out to shows, and that made it easier to meet people. But, I wouldn't have had the strength to go if I didn't have my faith in God. I would read God's promises written throughout the Bible, and I took them to heart. I chose to believe them completely, and that gave me the strength to keep looking for a better life. To keep believing that life doesn't have to hurt all of the time. And now I am here. I have met so many wonderful people in the past two years and I have been a part of so many amazing moments. Life is so much more rewarding now than it was before 2008.

My point in all of this is that, the life I live now resulted from a choice I made. I chose to not give in to depression. I chose to find another way to live life and I never gave up looking. So, forgive me if I offend you with my next statement, but based on my own experiences, I feel that depression is a choice. It is, admittedly, a feeling that can come at you with no warning, but I think we have a choice to allow that feeling to control our lives, or to tell it to go away.

I choose to not be depressed. I choose to not be sad, as much as I can. So my aunt passed away, and that is sad, but I still have a life to live. Giving in to depression right now is not going to make my life any better, so I choose not to let myself be depressed about it. This attitude is making it very hard for me to be around my family right now. They are all very sad and I am afraid of offending them, so I stay in my room a lot right now.

The only thing I have to offer my family is this video I made of the memorial we held for my aunt after she passed away.



I loved my aunt, and I love my family. I just can't bring myself to want to spend time being sad. There is so much to do in this life, so many people to meet and connect with, so much life to plan and look forward to and to LIVE, but we don't have an infinite amount of time to do all that there is to do. I just don't ever want to miss out on the good things in life due to the fact that I was sitting in my room being depressed. I re-read that last sentence, and I hope it doesn't come out sounding selfish. I just realize that life is short, and I don't want to miss out on it.

Since I am a Christian, I believe in an eternal afterlife. If you are part of my Christian family, then I will see you again in Heaven, please don't expect me to mourn for you very long if you leave this world before me. If I mourn at all during this life, I mourn for those people that I love who are not Christians, because I will not see them again after this life. Those are the people I want to spend more time with, because, if they do not go to Heaven, then this lifetime is all we have. That thought is the one thing that really makes me sad, and that is what really drives me to not want to waste the time that I have, being away from people that I love.

Okay, this blog turned out way longer than I planned, so I'll stop here. I hope I haven't scared anyone away. :-)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Tag Games

Today we have a vlog/blog. I was tagged by my friend Will to make a video answering some questions.

So here is my video:




The people I tagged are:
MichaelMidnight
Sara(cleverestwitch)
Leslie(foundhergrail)
Barry Aldridge
Bobby(TheMeFund)

The Questions Are:
1.What's your favourite TV show and why?
2.Favourite YouTube channel and why?
3.What's your worst habit?
4.Worst movie you've seen? Why was it the worst?
5.Favourite gadget and why?
6.What video camera do you use for your videos? Show us them!
7.Favourite smell?
8.When and where is your next vacation? If you don't have one planned, where would you go and why?
9.What is your favourite Internet meme?
10.When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you were older? Can you remember why?

Feel free to make a response of your own and tag some friends. Tag games are fun!

Or just answer the questions down in the comments if you like. This is all I have for you today. Goodbye 'till tomorrow. :-)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Pinball Madness!

Today has been a good day. My friends Chris and Molly came to Las Vegas and we spent a few hours hanging out at the best place in Las Vegas, the Pinball Hall of Fame!

The Pinball Hall of Fame has been in Las Vegas for a few years, but I only just went there for the first time last month when my friend Bobby came to town. Today was only my second time going, but it definitely will not be the last time. The Hall of Fame is both a museum and an arcade. There are hundreds of games there, games dating from the 1970's to today! -And they are all playable! Even better, the games are cheap! The games cost between 25 cents and $2.00 (at the most, and that's usually for multiple plays of a single game). Most games are 50 cents. To add even more to the awesomeness, the Pinball Hall of Fame is a non-profit museum and the majority of the proceeds go to the Salvation Army.

If you ever have the chance to come to Las Vegas, you have to set aside a few hours to hang out at the Pinball Hall of Fame. You can look them up at their website www.pinballmuseum.org. They also have a twitter, you can follow them @PinballHallFame.

Here are some pics of the museum that I stole from Molly's twitpic page.







These are some pics I took.





Ya, so it is an awesome place. It made for a great day to hang out there with two good friends. I don't really have any friends in Las Vegas anymore, so I've been pretty bored lately, and slightly depressed really. Having friends in town made me really happy today. Well, that's all for today. Goodbye till tomorrow. :-)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Shopping Etiquette

Hey there! So today I am blogging from work again. I am on my lunch break, but I'm not eating. My job had a bar-b-que today and I've already eaten before my lunch time.

So being at work has reminded me of something that irritates me nearly everyday. This is a rant and and a "teaching" of sorts.

As a cashier, one of the most annoying things to deal with is customers who pay with a $100 bills.

-Customers assume that we cashiers have an endless supply of money in our cash drawers.

TRUTH: We do not!

At most retail stores, cashiers start their shifts with a very minimal amount of money, usually only $100 or $200. That's it, so obviously, if our first customer has only a small purchase, we can not make change for a $100 bill.

Also, even though we make money during the day, we are required to "strip" our tills of excess cash throughout the day. This protects the store against major losses in the event of a theft. Therefore, because we never have very much money in our drawers, $100 bills are nearly always irritating to deal with if the purchase amount is small.

As someone who has worked as a cashier for the past 6 years, this is my plea and my advice to you. Please, please, please do not ever use a $100 bill to pay for a purchase that is less than $50.

Also, if you ever do use a $100 bill to pay for a small purchase, then you forfeit your right to be upset if the cashier has to make you wait for change, or if she sends you to another register.

Lastly, what are people doing with $100 bills anyway? Unless you get paid in cash, and the person paying you gives you a $100 bill, the only other way you get them is from the bank/casino where you cash your check. I happen to know that when you cash your check, the teller asks if you would like small bills or large bills. Take the small bills!!!! Why do people take $100 bills if all they are going to do is turn around and spend it on something that only costs $6. It's ridiculous and rude!

Ok, I'm done now. Sorry this was so "ranty". :-)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Shady Business

Ah, ok so I didn't blog yesterday. Ya, I'm already over it. Are you? Good, then let's move on.

So, right before I sat down to write this, I was still procrastinating on writing today's blog, instead I was going to go sew something on my sewing machine. Well, as I was pulling the machine out of the box (yes, I keep it stored in it's original box because I can't keep it out all of the time), I remembered the slightly shady story of how I got my sewing machine and suddenly I decided this would be a great blog, so here we go.

The story of how I got my sewing machine goes back several years. Over the past six years I have worked at a toy store off and on (ie. I have not worked there for an entire year straight, I always quit and go back and quit again, and go back again... I have a roller coaster relationship with that job.) Anyway, I think it was during my second year of working there, which would be about 4 years ago now, right after Christmas, the company decided to do a major mark-down on hundreds of video games. They sent us a list of at least 150 titles that were going to be marked down to $5. The crazy thing is that some of those titles were still selling for $50 at other stores, so this was going to be a HUGE sale! Well, the we had large quantities of most of the games that were being marked down, so our managers were not opposed to some of us employees buying some of the games for ourselves.

Now, here I am going to admit something I did that is probably the most outright dishonest thing I have ever done as far as taking advantage of a store and their 'return' policies. See, at that time, the PSP (portable playstation) was still brand new and I really wanted one, but I could not afford it. So I had this idea. What if I bought a few of these games at $5, and take them over to that "neighborhood superstore" (you all know the one I'm talking about) and return them for store credit? These games were worth $30-50 each at that "other" store. I figured, I could invest some money into these games, redeem them for store credit at that "other" store, and use the credit to buy myself a PSP.

So, that's what I did. Sort of. I invested about $80 into the $5 games. I returned most of them for store credit at the superstore and got nearly $400 in store credit. Some of the games, it turned out were not sold there, so I had to sell them on ebay, but that was alright because they ended up selling for more than $50! I don't remember exactly how much money I ended up with after all that, but still, most of it was in store credits. So, I had the store credits, and the money from the ebay sales, but then my plan altered. Since I worked at a toy store, I saw that nearly all of the PSP's we had sold were being returned. It turns out, those units break very easily. So my desire to buy one waned, and here I was, stuck with nearly $400 in store credit which I had intended to use to buy a PSP. So instead, I just bought whatever. School supplies, clothes, a hair straightener, a blow dryer, and I figured, why not buy a sewing machine too? I wanted one, and I had the "money". So I bought one.

That's how I got the sewing machine in the first place. Now my story could end there, but it doesn't. I had that sewing machine for about a year, when suddenly, it stopped working. Something was wrong with the tension on it and I know enough about sewing machines to know that it would cost more to have it repaired than the machine was actually worth, so it just sat there in it's box for almost a year. One day, my mom needed to borrow my sewing machine and I told her how it was broken. My aunt was there during this conversation and she asked where I had bought the machine. I told her where I got it, and she told me to just take it back. I still had the original box and everything. I told her I didn't feel comfortable doing that, so she put it in her car, drove to the closest "superstore" and told them that she had this sewing machine that didn't work anymore and she wanted another one. Well, apparently that's good enough for them. They gave her a brand new one! She brought it back to my house, and so I still have a sewing machine that I never 'really' paid for.

Now just in the interest of full disclosure, I want to tell you why I don't feel so guilty about returning those video games to that store. One of the ladies that I worked with at the Toy Store had a son who was a manager at the local "superstore". She knew full well what I was doing and she got in on it too. She told her son about it, and he rolled his eyes and said she could get away with returning "a few". So I didn't feel so bad, because one of the managers there "knew" what we Toy Store employees were up to. Anyway, that's my blog for today. Goodbye till tomorrow. :-)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Blog.... about NASCAR

I don't really feel like writing today at all, but I don't want to give up on my attempt to blog everyday!

So darn it, here we go!

I don't know what to talk about today. I just got home from work tonight and found out that my friend Bill was in a car accident yesterday. You probably know Bill, and you might already know about the accident, because Bill is a race car driver. He races on a track in La Crosse, Wisconsin. You can watch the video of his race and crash right here. (Bill's car is the #16 car, it is black and red - he starts out in 4th place in this race.)




Bill said this was a pretty nasty crash, although, visually, it doesn't look as terrifying as the crash he survived in May.At the very end of the video, you can see that he crashed pretty bad.



There is a video that shows the crash actually happening. Bill showed it to me once, but I couldn't find it. Oh well.

Anyway, just so you know, Bill is not a bad driver. He doesn't always crash. In fact, he won a race on July 3!!! You can watch him win, right here.



It is pretty cool that he won, because that was only his 8th time racing. Ever. And yet he won, against all of those more experienced drivers. :-)

Ya, I didn't intend for this blog to be all about Bill... but why not? I'm kind of into racing now and I think it is awesome that my best friend is a licensed NASCAR driver. I started to enjoy racing actually more than a year ago, way before Bill became a racecar driver, although it was still him who influenced me. I first started watching races when I would hang out at Bill's house and we would watch them on his computer. Eventually we went to some NASCAR races out at the Las Vegas motor speedway, and those were fun. I have to admit, I still haven't learned all of the rules, I'm still learning, but I know enough about the sport now to appreciate it as a sport.

If you know nothing about NASCAR, let me tell you just a little bit about the 'big leagues' and how they compare to the races in which Bill competes.

In the major NASCAR races (the ones in which the 'big' names race) the cars race at around 200 MPH (that's 321.87 km/h). They usually drive between 100-300 laps, sometimes more.

The races that Bill competes in are 15 laps long, and the cars stay at around 90 MPH. So, that may give you an idea of the stamina, strength and endurance needed to compete in the big races. Still, 15 laps can seem like an eternity. You never know what is going to happen on any given lap.

If you are not familiar with racing, you might get the idea that people who watch races are most excited about the crashes. Actually though, once you become a fan of racing, you realize quickly that, although crashes can be kind of spectacular, they are actually pretty annoying. Crashes slow down the race and can be really irritating.

Anyway, I think that's all that I have to say. I'm tired, so goodnight.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

VIRUSES!!!@#$!$% - and First Friday (cont.)

Hey there! So last night my computer caught a virus AGAIN! This new virus was very similar to the one that infected my computer last month. The same one that forced me to stop blogging for several days. Thankfully, since my friend Bill fixed my computer last month, I already had an anti-malware program installed on my computer, so I was able to fix the problem myself this time.

Anyway, since I have been hit twice by this type of virus and even last week my friend Mary got the same virus on her computer, I feel I should talk about these extremely annoying viruses so that if you happen to catch one, you can recognize it right away and know what to do.

The two programs that have attacked my computer are the spyware programs known as Sysinternals Antivirus and Antivir 2010. Both of these programs sneak their way onto your computer and masquerade as Anti-virus software. They pretty much hi-jack your web browser, not allowing you to access the internet at all. They are designed to disable any legitimate anti-virus software that is already on your computer so that, it almost seems impossible to remove these pesky programs that just show up out of nowhere. These types of spyware will torment you with pop-ups saying that viruses have been found on your computer and they wont allow you to do anything until you "buy" the full version of their program. DO NOT BUY IT!!! It is just a scam. You will lose your money and the problem will just get worse.

You do not need a fancy expensive anti-virus program to remove these viruses from your computer. There is a free program you can download from www.malwarebytes.org that will successfully and safely remove these programs from your computer. The tricky thing is that you can't download this program once you already have the virus, unless you really know a lot about the way computers work, because the viruses hi-jack your web-browser, so you can't go looking for a solution.

I know that when Bill fixed my computer for me, he disabled everything that starts up automatically when my computer turns on, which in effect, "turned off" the virus. That allowed him to access the internet in order to download the anit-malware program that would actually remove the virus. Honestly though, I couldn't tell you exactly how he did it. I would suggest downloading the anti-malware program 'just in case'. That way, if you get one of these viruses, you can simply turn off your computer, restart it in "safe mode" and then run the anti-malware program. Your computer will be fixed in less than an hour.

Anyway, that is my advice. The last thing I have to say about that, is that I got the Sysinternals Antivirus 'bug' from a MySpace page, and my friend Mary got it too. So I suggest staying away from MySpace. I am not actually sure where I picked up the Antivir 2010 virus. The only website I was logged into when it actually took over my computer was this one! (I was working on my blog!) I doubt that I got the virus through Blogger. I think it is more likely that I picked it up somewhere else and it just didn't 'manifest' right away. Okay... enough about that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It seems a bit odd to completely change topics in the middle of a blog, but the way the internet works now, if I wait till tomorrow to tell you about my experience at First Friday last night, well... then it will already be 'old' news. So, I did make it out to First Friday last night. I brought my Flip camera with me and made this video:




My friend Adam Michaels (from the band Searchlight) is an artist (notice "Adams Art Box" in the video above), and I bought some Alice In Wonderland prints from him.





I *WISH* that I could have the actual paintings of these two prints, but I could not afford them. He also had paintings of the Cheshire Cat and an interpretation of the Mad Tea Party that I would have loved to have, but still,... I can only afford to buy art on the cheap.

I did also buy some pins last night.



There was a booth that was selling products made entirely from recycled materials. These pins were made from aluminum taken from soda cans and recycled paper. I spent a good while looking through the thousands of pins they had on display there, I chose these six as little gifts for some friends of mine. I meant to buy more for more of my friends, but there were SO MANY pins to look through, eventually I gave up looking.

Anyway, I think this blog is really long enough, so I'll say goodbye now, until tomorrow. :-)

Friday, August 6, 2010

Star Wars Nail Art & First Friday

I don't know what to talk about today, so I just want to show you my nail art for this week.

My friend Stephen, who I've mentioned before, suggested this nail design to me. If you don't remember, Stephen is the co-creator of www.wookieepedia.com, and obviously is quite a Star Wars fan.

So here it is:
my own little army of Stormtroopers + Darth Vader



Other than that, I really don't have much to say today. It is Friday, also it is the first Friday of the month, which means today is the First Friday art festival here in Las Vegas. I guess I could tell you about that.

I know some other cities also have a First Friday festival, but if you don't have one, basically it's a big block party that happens every month, obviously on the First Friday of the month. I've been going to First Friday events ever since I was a senior in high school, 7 years ago. Mostly it's an event for artists to showcase and sell their art. Since I went to an art school for high school, this festival was a big deal to my classmates. It was a great way for them to get noticed in the community and for them to make some money from their art. The city closes down some of the streets to traffic during the festival so that people can just walk around between galleries. They have street vendors and music and dancing and it's just one of those events you can go to and you can always be sure that you'll have a good time. One of the galleries provides chalk so anyone who wants to can create chalk art on the sidewalk.

First Friday officially runs from 6pm to 10pm, but over the past few years, the bars downtown have jumped onto the First Friday bandwagon. Once the actual art Festival is over, the over 21 crowd usually heads over to Freamont St. for discounted drinks and live bands at the Beauty Bar or at The Bunkhouse. Usually there are bands playing for free at the stage under the Fremont St. Experience canopy. That can be a good time too, but usually it is over-run with tourists, so I don't usually go there. There are three or four other bars on Fremont St. that have First Friday specials, but they don't have space for live bands so I rarely go to those.







Just as I was writing this, I was going to say that First Friday is always a good place to run into friends and a great way to meet new people. I just remembered that I first met my friend Ricky (drummer of the band Searchlight) outside of the Beauty Bar at a First Friday event.





So anyways, that's what I'll be doing tonight. Hanging out downtown, checking out some art, and hopefully seeing some friends. :-)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Fears

Yesterday, my friend Michael made a VEDA video talking about the things he fears. (Watch his video here.) Instead of leaving a long comment on his video, I decided to respond here.

I have the strangest, most illogical fears. I am not afraid of bugs or heights, or airplanes or swimming in the ocean. The things I fear are very unlikely to ever actually happen to me. I have three fears that I will share with you.

1.) I am afraid of being burried alive. I think I aquired this fear when I was very young and I read something somewhere about how people used to be burried alive accidentaly. I think this was all urban legend, but the story goes that, hundreds of years ago, when people would slip into a coma or simply get knocked unconscious, sometimes their heart rate would go very low and their breathing would be so slow that it would look as though they were not breathing, and people would bury them, thinking they were dead. There were stories of this happening, and then sometimes a close friend or family member would have a horrible feeling that would cause them to have the grave dug up, and they would open the casket to find that the person had woken up, and tried to get out, but then had died of suffocation. These stories might not actually be true, but when I read them, they really frightened me, and still, I fear the idea of being burried alive with no way to survive.

2.) I fear being left in space. Not just being in a ship and being stranded with no power or something like that. But sometimes you watch a movie or something and there is an astronaut who is outside of the ship, working and somehow he gets seperated from the ship. Being that alone and helpless is what I fear. Obviously this is something that is extremely unlikely to ever happen to me, but still it frightens me.

3.) Whenever I go to someone else's house, if I go into the bathroom and the shower curtain is closed, I am always convinced that if I open the shower curtain, I will find a dead body in the shower. I have no idea where this thought came from, but it is the first thing I think every time I walk into a bathroom with the shower curtain closed, and I'm always afraid that it will be true.

So there you go. That's what frightens me. I guess I am lucky that I never have to actually face these fears. I bet if you did a psycho-analysis on me, you'd find some interesting things as to what these fears say about me, but I'm content not really knowing. :-)

That's all I have for today. Goodbye 'till tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I Recieved A Second-Hand Song

Hey there. I only have about an hour to write today so I just have a little story for you.

About two weeks ago a friend of mine at work gave me a gift. This friend of mine is an older man, I forget his actual age, but I think he is about 56 or so. He said he was feeling creative and he was going through some songs he had written over the years and decided to write them out nicely and frame then for some friends of his. He found a love song he had written about an girl named Heather that he had dated about 10 years ago. So he wrote this song out by hand and framed it for me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Timeless Temptations of Heather

Moonlit nights filled with anticipations
Always reminded of Timeless Temptations
Of kissing and touching your very soul
Securing your heart from lifes bitter road

Walking hand in hand under skys above
Searching deep into the Sea of Love
Comfortably numb from questions of Why
Forever drowning in your Sensuous Eyes

To touch and hold you through the night
Letting you know everything is alright
To me you're the gift of Gods creation
Our souls intertwinning in Timeless Temptations

The wonderous beauty of your glowing smile
Is making my life all worth while
Nevermore enduring pressures from within
Expressions of Love can now begin.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the bottom of the frame, under the lyrics, my friend wrote a note that says
"Hand copied for Heather, a cool chick I work with @ Home Depot, a song about a Heather I had on my Harley, 20 years younger than I, in 2001."


A few other people at work received songs too. I just thought it was really nice. So this song now hangs in my room, and that's the story behind it.

Anyway, I have to go to work soon, so goodbye 'till tomorrow. :-)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I Like Birthdays

I like birthdays. My whole life, my mom always set an example for me by making a big deal out of my and my siblings birthdays. She always bought us new clothes and let us choose a special meal for our birthday.

I really feel that it was my mom who taught me that when it is someones birthday, everyone else should treat that person special on their birthday. The funny thing for me is that, growing up, I often felt neglected on my birthday, because my birthday is in the middle of the summer. I was only in school on my birthday for one year of my life when I happened to attend a 12-month school for sixth grade. Unfortunately for me, the most popular girl in my grade had the same birthday as me, so none of my classmates remembered me. I said it was funny, because feeling neglected on my own birthday nearly every year, never made me feel any less enthusiastic about making a big deal out of other peoples birthdays.

When I was in high school, I especially made a point to remember other peoples birthdays. It didn't matter if the person was my friend or not, if I knew they had a birthday, I'd do something to help make that day special for them. One year, I remembered a friend of mine named Ga-Nesha. She and I had been friends since 4th grade, but in our Junior year of high school, we did not have any classes together so we were not very close friends during that particular year. Still, when her birthday came around in January, I remembered and I brought her a gift. I had to go find her in one of her classes during a passing period since we didn't have any classes together. I remember when I found her and gave her the gift and card I had brought for her, she started to cry. It turns out that no one else had remembered her birthday so far that day (I think it was already after lunch.) About a week after her birthday, she came and found me in one of my classes, and she had a gift and a balloon for me! It had made her so happy that even though we were not close friends at the time and we didn't even have any classes together, I still remembered her birthday, and she said it meant so much to her that a simple thank you just wasn't enough. :-)

I guess I'm telling this story because, I think it is really important to remember people on their birthday. Sometimes, you have no idea how far a simple gesture will go. Just giving someone a card or makeing them some cookies, or buying them a bag of candy and putting a bow on it. It makes me so so so so happy to see someone else being happy because I remembered them on their birthday. I love it when someone is a close friend or a family member and I know them well enough to buy them the perfect gift. It's so amazing to watch someone open a gift and to see them get so excited when they see that you've really paid attention to who they are and what they want.

So, if you normally don't make a big deal out of birthdays,... just try it differently next time. I challenge you to do something extra special and creative for the next birthday that you know of.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Things That Are Not Happening...

Way back in June I wrote a blog talking about several options that I had as far as jobs and school. I was being considered for a promotion at my current job. My grandparents had offered to pay for me to attend beauty school in order to get a nail tech license and I also had an offer from one of my college professors to go back to school as his grad student this fall.

Well, so far, none of these things have happened. Just a few days ago, I went through a THIRD interview for the promotion that I applied for at work. I'm beginning to think that it will never happen though. I have a feeling that not all of the managers believe that I should be promoted, so they keep stalling, or something.

My grandparents called me this past weekend to say that they could not afford the full cost of the beauty school programs. They had thought it would be much cheaper than it actually is. I don't have any money of my own to go to beauty school, so that is something that is not happening.

Also, the professor who offered to take me on as a grad student never e-mailed me again. Perhaps he got busy and forgot, perhaps he changed his mind, maybe he didn't have the funding, who knows. I wish he had e-mailed me back again, even if just to say that it wouldn't work out. I can't officially say that this will never happen, but I can say truthfully that I will not be going to grad school THIS fall.

Still, I am not discouraged or upset. In my last blog, I also mentioned that I wanted to re-write my resume and apply for jobs related to my degree. (I have a bachelors degree in geology.) In these past two months I've decided that I want to focus more on applying for jobs pertaining to technical writing.

Today I went to meet with a friend of my mothers named Kelly. Kelly is a successfull business woman, so I asked her to help me re-write my resume. She said my current resume isn't really that bad, but we looked it over and I will be re-writing it completely this week. Once that is done, I'll put it out there, and we'll see what happens.

I don't really have much else to say today, so goodbye 'till tomorrow. :-)

Sunday, August 1, 2010

BEDA

*BEDA = Bloggin Every Day in August!*

Hey there! So I had so much fun blogging everyday 'till VidCon, I thought I'd keep going with BEDA.

I guess it is a good thing for me that there is such a thing as BEDA because right now I have so many ideas of things to talk about I have to refrain from writing about everything all at once.

First I'll start with some news. I am known all over the internet as "pinkpixiedf", except on youtube, where I have gone by the username "faeryfaith". Well, today I have changed that. I now have a new home on youtube at www.youtube.com/pinkpixiedf. If you are my friend, please go subscribe to me there, as that is the channel I will be commenting from in the future and also where I will post any new videos. However, I am keeping my old "faeryfaith" account active as a place to post nail tutorials and make-up related videos.
Anyone who knows me personally, knows that I rarely post vlog type videos, but I did post 3 videos today! (2 videos on the FaeryFaith channel and 1 on the PinkPixieDF channel - go check em out!)

One of the videos I posted today was about a sale happening at the make-up store ULTA. I was so super excited about this sale because they are giving away amazing free gifts with a minimum purchase of only $17.50 and they have so many products that are Buy One Get One 50% off and also, Buy One Get One Free deals.

I had to work all day today, so I got to the ULTA store only a half hour before it closed. I didn't have much time to shop around so I only bought the few things I knew that I wanted. I will hopefully be going back later this week to take advantage of the sales.

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you what I got.
These are the items I actually paid for. My bill was only $29!!


This is what I got as a free gift:


And just for fun, this is everything together!

All of that, and I only spent $29!!!

To get the free gift I had to spend a minimum of $17.50 on ULTRA brand cosmetics. I bought a pink blush and purple gel eyeliner. Together, they were $21. I also bought a Stila eyeshadow palette for $10. My total only came to $29 because I also had a coupon for $3.50 off. All-in-all it was a good shopping day. If you love make-up as much as I do, or if you want to love make-up, but hate the prices, then you should really go take advantage of this sale. (I am not being paid to say this! I just really love make-up and these are great deals!)

Anyway, I'll stop there for today. Have a good night. Goodbye 'till tomorrow. :-)

Sunday, July 25, 2010

My Top 10 Beauty Products

Hey there! So today, I thought I would share some of my favorite make-up and beauty products with you. It was kind of hard to narrow it down to a top 10 list, so actually, I decided to focus more on which products I would reccommend to others. The 10 products I list really are some of my most favorites, but they are not necessarily the products I use the most often. Although, if you read through, I think you'll see that I found a way to sort of cheat and add in a few shout-outs to the products I do use on a more regular basis.

These products are not listed in such a way as to reflect a rating, (i.e. #1 is not better than #10, nor is #10 better than #1. Actually, I listed the products in the order that you might actually use them if you were applying your make-up for the day.)


#1. STUDIO SECRETS PROFESSIONAL: MAGIC PERFECTING BASE by L'Oreal Paris

This product is a face primer. It is relatively new. I found a coupon for it and decided to try it out. This is the only face primer I have ever used so I can't compare it to any others, but after using this product I would definately recommend using a face primer. This is a beautiful product that you apply after your moisturizer, but before your concealer and foundation. It smoothes out your skin making it feel silky and soft, and it helps your make-up last hours longer than it normally would. Also, I have rather oily skin and I live in a desert where normally I sweat and my make-up doesn't last, but I find that when I use this product, my oily skin and the heat and sweat have less of a wearing effect on my make-up.


#2 URBAN DECAY SHADOW PRIMER POTION


This product is an eye primer. Use it before applying eye makeup. I absolutely recommend this product! This is one of my most favorite makeup products ever because it consistantly lives up to its reputation. This product will make your eyeshadow look vibrant and beautifull ALL DAY! It helps eyeshadow to stay in place, it prevents creasing, flaking and smudging. Seriously, when you use this product, you can put your eyeshadow on and feel confident all day that your shadow will still look amazing even 10 hours after you put it on.


#3 Kabuki brush

Please please please don't tell me that you still apply your loose powder with a pouf! If you are not using a kabuki brush to apply your loose foundation powder, you are completely missing out! These brushes are made with short handles and have a large plume of super-soft bristles that apply the powder more evenly over your face. The best way to use a kabuki brush is to tap some powder into the lid of your powder container, swirl the kabuki brush into the powder, tap off the extra, then apply the powder to your face using circular motions.


#4 Double-ended Smudging/Feathering brush

This is a brush in my collection that I love. You don't necessarily have to buy a double sided brush like this one, but I'm glad this is a two-in-one brush so that I can get away with talking about them both at once. This brush is extremely usefull when applying eyeshadow. I use the smaller end to apply make-up to the crease of my eye. It packs the shadow on thick for a bold look. If I want a softer look, after I apply the shadow with the small end, I use the larger end to soften the look by lightly smudging the shadow from the outside corner toward the inside corner. This is a valuable tool to have if you are a fan of smokey eyes. I also like to use the larger end as a blending tool to soften the contrast between the color in the crease of my eye and the highlight color just under the brows.


#5 ALMAY Trio's

This is more of a general recommendation than a specific recommendation. I think every girl should have a shadow compact with colors pre-determined to bring out her features. You don't have to buy one from Almay, other brands make similar shadow compacts. The reason I recommend these is for convenience. I love to go all out with my makeup everyday, but sometimes, you wake up late. At some point in your life (maybe more often than not) you will be in a hurry. These shadow compacts are life savers in those situations. Sometimes I have very little time to do my makeup, so I'll use the time I have to apply moisturizer and foundation and then I'll grab my Almay trio compact, throw it in my bag, and head out the door. The shadow can be easily applied in 2 minutes (you can find that time in the car, or on the bus.) They are also good to have because they are made to compliment your natural features and not your outfits, so you can make them work no matter what clothes you have on.


#6 L'Oreal Paris - High Intensity Pigments (HiP) Eyeshadow Duo's


If you want bold color, but don't want to pay department store prices, then I definately recommend this line of eyeshadows. They cost between $6 and $8 depending on where you shop. Each container has two complimentary colors. The containers also have mirrors and two applicators included. (I wouldn't recommend using these applicators on a regular basis, but I'm glad they are included. There have been a few times that I would forget to put my makeup brushes in my bag before leaving the house. Those little applicators save the day in those situations.)


#7 120 Color Eyeshadow Palette (from Ebay)

Can you really say no to 120 colors?! These palettes are available on Ebay from many different suppliers. The majority of them ship from China and you usually only have to pay the cost of shipping. I got mine for $14. My sister envied this product when I got it, so I ordered one for her birthday from a different seller and hers came all broken. It wasn't packaged as well as mine had been, so I would be very careful about who you order from. I bought mine from the ebay seller "eachdesk". Although, you can order this palette from www.buyincoins.com for about $15 (free shipping) and their products come well packaged. The shadows themselves are actually very good quality. The colors are bold and pretty, they have a very good color pay-off. I use this palette constantly. This is a very good product if you want lots of color options with good quality for a low price.


#8 Gel Eyeliner

I only recently started using gel eyeliners and I absolutely love them! They stay put, they don't smear or smudge and they don't irritate my eyes. I normally use liquid eyeliner, and still do most of the time because it's faster, but the liquid liner gets into my eyes and sometimes it irritates my contact lenses. I love that the gel liner stays on my lids and doesn't get into my eyes. I use the gel liners for bold looks and for doing winged eyeline designs and cat eye's. I personally don't use gel liners on the lower lids or waterline, although I know that some women do and they haven't had a problem doing that. I personally wouldn't recommend it, but I don't know that it is unhealthy, so you might try it. Some gel liners are sold with an applicator brush, many are sold alone, without a brush. There are two brush styles you can use to apply a gel liner, a regular eye-liner brush, nearly every makeup line has one available. You can also use a small angle brush, which is what I prefer to use. I think the angle brush gives me a better advantage when making the winged design. I personally buy very small angle brushes from art supply stores because they are cheaper than makeup brushes but they are made the same way and work just as well.


#9 Red Lipstick

Every woman should know how to rock the red lipstick look. This is definately not something for everyday (unless you are a dancer maybe), but I would recommend that every woman have a red lipstick that suits her. It took me a long time to find a red lipstick that would look truely red on me and that would last. I am sort of cheating here, because I have to use two products to achieve the perfect look. I use a lip liner from Rimmel London's EXAGGERATE line. The one I use is #024 RED DIVA, I use this lip liner to line my lips and fill them in completely. Then I apply a lipstick from Max Factor, it is #40 Ms. Right Now. Together, these two work perfectly for me. It is a good idea to use a lip liner all over your lips before applying a lipstick, because the lip liner lasts longer, so even if the lipstick fades, the liner will still be there. Even more so, I absolutely recommend Rimmel London's EXAGGERATE line of Full Color Lip Liners, because they provide excellent color pay-off and they last forever! Seriously, when I use this red liner, I pretty much have red lips for at least two days. It really lasts.


#10 Pink Sugar Perfume - Available at Sephora

Looking for a unique, bold and playful scent? Pink Sugar is consistantly one of Sephora's most popular items. I first bought this perfume in 2003 because it smelled absolutely delicious and I haven't been able to give it up since then. (I've been through three bottles of it in the past 7 years). This is a strong perfume that I would recommend only wearing when you "go out". Although, I have been known to wear it to work or school. Anytime you wear this perfume, someone is bound to ask "Do you smell cookies?" It really does smell delicious. However, if this scent is too much for you, I would also recommend a perfume called Be Delicious from DKNY, it is a sort of fruity scent that really is beautiful. My bottle is nearly empty and I will definately be buying more when it runs out. If a flowery scent is more your thing, I suggest Princess by Vera Wang. The large bottle of this perfume costs $75, but it is absolutely worth it. I've been through two bottles of it in 4 years. It is one of my most favorites.


Finally we are done! I know this was a long blog. Hey, just be glad I didn't start talking about mascara! I could write a whole blog on that topic alone. I do hope you enjoyed it though and that you found some helpful tips. Thanks for reading. If you have any questions or comments, well that's what the comment section is for! :-) I enjoy reading your feedback. Also, what are your favorite beauty products? Do you have any beauty secrets to share? Let us know in the comments! Until next time, goodbye.